Dianne, I was very angry, and I had something to be angry about, as does your daughter. I had a contradictory personality: one minute I would be up and off the wall, the next I would be down and in the dumps. As a teen, I alternated between acts of rebellion like smoking pot with friends or isolated withdrawal alone in my room. Some people would perceive me as being nice and sweet, and take advantage of that. At the time, my vulnerabilities were so obvious it was easy to be taken advantage of. But I thought I was wearing a hard shell because I had a wall around my heart. Other people would not know how to speak to me because no one could predict how I would react. Some people walked on egg shells around me. Only intense counseling and constant introspection and recommended reading and a spiritual transformation changed my personality. I am almost back to the sweet characteristics I had BEFORE the abuse. I say almost because I still have trouble trusting others, and trusting enough to believe in my own self. I am very insecure. But, instead of acting out those insecurities in passive-aggressive ways, I am better able to say that I don't understand something, or that I feel under confident. Instead of being taken advantage of, people are better able to read the genuine me, and be supportive. I say this because your daughter is not showing her genuine needs; she is covering up her vulnerabilities with anger. "No nicer than the rest of us." Hmmm, I wonder why you can't compliment someone in your lives without a harsh feedback from her. I remember when my mother was complimenting Kathie Lee Gifford to me. My mom just gushed all over KL because, Mom thought, KL "had such strong values and loved her Daddy." I took that very personally because my non-loving daddy had abused me and so my values were askew (at the time.) Everything was askew. So if someone complimented someone else, I thought it was really a slam against me. So I wonder if YD is thinking that by you complimenting someone else you are really undermining her. YOU don't see it that way, but one with a history of being sexually abused by someone she trusted has everything "mangled" in her head (Eagle's good word for it.) As for suicide, those who have been sexually assaulted are 13 times more likely to attempt suicide than those who have not been assaulted. That's huge. It might as well be 100 times. The best predictor of suicide is previous attempts. It's not hard for one to decide when enough is enough. It's not always true that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. Some things like sexual abuse are just too much to handle. It's not hard to decide that death would be better than the emotional pain. Also, with SA there is a lot of unresolved grief: losing trust, losing childhood, etc. So she is languishing in a long grieving process. YD needs to read/talk about this subject, not hide from it. Like I said, she says she forgives and forgets, but her actions speak louder. Dianne, keep talking about this here or wherever you feel support. It's not over yet. Do you feel like she is abusing you with her anger? Does she say she does not hold anything against you (for not knowing) yet she treats you with anger? Suicidal people hit rock bottom and don't know how to get up. I guess I was lucky because a counselor intervened (well, God intervened and sent an angel counselor to me) and she showed me how to get up after suicide. I needed her as a life line. Oh, Dianne, you can't be a life line for her. She needs an objective helper. Phew. That's all for now. Love and Light, Lynn