It's absolutely none of my business but, why stay? It sounds dreadful and all that negative energy pulling you down is like living in a black hole.

You've got plenty more of what it takes to stay than I.

I wish you the best and pray your situation will, somehow, right itself, someway.

Thistle/Sandra,

My husband has said numerous times that if I initiate a divorce, he'll fight it all the way. It will be haul ass through divorce court and more 24/7 scream-athon. I've emotionally pulled back far enough so that I can take almost anything except the screaming.

Right now we're not fighting as much. He does the bill-paying, all the shopping, some cleaning, and usually helps with my craft sales & set-up. I do most of the non-bill house & garden stuff and ignore him more times than not. 3 or 4 nights a week we cook supper together (the rest of the time, I'm "out.") I think of us as roommates with a past both good and bad.

A psychic told me once that we were together many times in the past. I also believe there were karmic debts to be paid. He took care of me all 4 times when I almost died, and I think he's paid his. I believe that the only debt left is me to him, that I'll take care of him in the end through a long illness or debilitation. If this happens -- and I believe it will -- all debts will be paid and I hope that we won't have to meet again.

Sometimes I have a vision of us passing each other in the future, and then moving on like ships in the night. Don't ask me how I know this stuff, but I do.

I never wanted to get married in the first place. It was his idea but I said yes because I knew that he was the one man in my life whom I wouldn't walk out on. There have been times when this has been severely tested.

This all may sound lame or incredulous to some of you. Sometimes my sight is so clear and simple it's like the yellow brick road; I just follow the path and it takes me where I need to go.

Meredith, sometimes I have the feeling of "remembering" something in advance...does that ever happen to you? It isn't de ja vu but something like it...like having a dream about ordinary every day events in a particular combination, and then sometime later in "real life" just noticing that the particular combination of events has occurred...

I knew that my last baby was somehow connected with my parents' last days... and she was in the room when my father departed this life. As a one year old, no one tried to explain the event to her, but later looking at his photo she said "All gone now."

This probably doesn't belong in this section but here is a cute quote from my daughter:

"Will you tie my rainbow?" (tie the sash on her dress)

Julie,

Thanks for responding to my latest bombshell. I was beginning to think I scared everyone off again.

I'll answer your post and move this discussion to Faith/Religion because it will get pretty far afield from Divorce. I'll call the new topic Sight.

Oh yeah sure Ms M...like you could scare us off! You're stuck with us, got it? hmp!

Good question. There have been times in my marriage when I felt like ending it. My husband has never been abusive in any way, it's just that our personalities have clashed many times. Sometimes he's been too controlling, sometimes I have.

I'm glad I stuck it out but I know in my heart that if I had been abused in any way, my love would die for him and I would definitely consider divorce.

Like Dotsie, I hate to see anyone in or out of this forum be mistreated. We all have a light inside of us, given to us by God. When we feel that light being extinguished, I believe it's time for some kind of action. (Just my opinion, for what it's worth.)

God Bless Always....

Toni, and that action doesn't have to be divorce immediately. Therapy is a good snext step. I just ffel sorry for women when they are willing to get help, but their husband isn't.

Why do you think women are more open to therapy?

At least the women I know are.

I think women are more willing to get help because we feel unable to make changes without it. Women take on responsibility while Men taken on authority. Men think they are in charge while we think we are victims. Sometimes it seems the only power we have.
Just some over generalizations, but....
smile