Thistle/Sandra,

My husband has said numerous times that if I initiate a divorce, he'll fight it all the way. It will be haul ass through divorce court and more 24/7 scream-athon. I've emotionally pulled back far enough so that I can take almost anything except the screaming.

Right now we're not fighting as much. He does the bill-paying, all the shopping, some cleaning, and usually helps with my craft sales & set-up. I do most of the non-bill house & garden stuff and ignore him more times than not. 3 or 4 nights a week we cook supper together (the rest of the time, I'm "out.") I think of us as roommates with a past both good and bad.

A psychic told me once that we were together many times in the past. I also believe there were karmic debts to be paid. He took care of me all 4 times when I almost died, and I think he's paid his. I believe that the only debt left is me to him, that I'll take care of him in the end through a long illness or debilitation. If this happens -- and I believe it will -- all debts will be paid and I hope that we won't have to meet again.

Sometimes I have a vision of us passing each other in the future, and then moving on like ships in the night. Don't ask me how I know this stuff, but I do.

I never wanted to get married in the first place. It was his idea but I said yes because I knew that he was the one man in my life whom I wouldn't walk out on. There have been times when this has been severely tested.

This all may sound lame or incredulous to some of you. Sometimes my sight is so clear and simple it's like the yellow brick road; I just follow the path and it takes me where I need to go.