Every post on this thread pulled my heart strings, even the humorous ones. JJ, can't thank you enough for you instructive post. And, madhatter, thank you for bringing the thread to the top. Since joining, I haven't read older threads, unless someone adds to one. A million questions are circling inside my head.

Yes, thank you for bringing back this post. I was just talking to my mom on the phone and asking if she and dad would come up for dinner some night. She said no, she was just too nervous. I miss her.

I watched a great movie several years back, I think it was called Memento, about a guy who wrote, tatooed notes all over his body and on pieces of paper all over the place to remind himself of what he was looking for. It was not about alz, but another memory issue. This is how I feel about my mom alot of the time. Thanks for sharing the story, Chatty.

It was good to go back and read all of the help that was offered to me when this was first posted. You are a wonderful bunch of women.

One other suggestion is to document your parents' information, such as insurance policies, bank account numbers, etc. You can tactfully offer to help them make a list in case they need it to fill out hospital papers, insurance claims, etc. Then, be sure to keep a copy for yourself. If they will allow it, get your name on a bank account with them too. Even if there is a Power of Attorney in place, it doesn't always work the way the books tell you it does. Everything will be easier if you have direct access to funds to pay bills or otherwise help them.

I don't want to overwhelm you, so I won't try to cover all I learned doing it for over ten years. Both of my parents had different forms of dementia. My husband's mother is still alive at the age of 92 and we handle her legal and financial affairs too. She's been lucky. She has not had significant memory problems or health issues. Only in the last few years has she needed care assistance.

Believe me I've learned a lot. One of the biggest issues I have with the things they tell people to do to be prepared for the time they need assistance, is that many of those things are not a guarantee. The POA (Power of Attorney) is just one example. It's commonly thought that having one in place will allow your family to help you if necessary. My parents both had one. However, the bank told us they don't have to accept them--and they often don't. We learned from experience.

I'll check the board occasionally, but don't hesitate to send a note if there is anything I might be able to help with. I also did case management for adult developmentally disabled for some years. So I know medications and a bunch of recordkeeping, caregiver, nursing, legal stuff that sometimes comes in handy.

Keep a positive outlook and take care of yourself. You can't help anyone if you don't. That is the hardest thing for people to do in these situations.

Penny, I'd be interested to know if you've worked with large families (meaning enough siblings to get in each other's way) as a case worker.

gimster, is that the situation you are in now? I'm from a family of five children and we spent seven months, (almost six years ago) caring for Mom who was dying of lung cancer. Maybe I can help.

yeppers, dotsie... a complicated situation, to say the least. I have never seen a family (of 10) so diverse as ours, as in interests, personalities, employment, finances, attitudes and beliefs. One pulls, the other tugs and vice versa.