I wasn't sure exactly where to post this, but it fits under eldercare - just that WE'D be the elders!

Have y'all made plans for if/when you need care? It seems like so many of our elders have not. Of course, no one can predict when they might suddenly take sick, but have you got an updated will? A living will? Have you decided who should have your health care mandates and power of attorney?

I was pretty lucky. My parents both had updated wills and my dad had a hefty amount of life insurance. He died in 1994, just 2 months after my mother had a massive stroke and was still recovering. The emotional blow to all of us was bad enough but fortunately, he left enough money to take good care of Mom.

She lived ten and a half more years, but had more strokes and was in a nursing home when she died. She was also on a feeding tube, which was something we kids had to decide about because she had not established any health directives.

I've thought a lot about what I want my kids to have to go through if I were to get sick, and what I DON'T want them to go through, and I've left directives about what my care should be if and when I reach the point where I can't make those decisions for myself.

For one thing, I do NOT want to live like a vegetable in a nursing home. If I've reached the point where decisions have to be made for me and the situation seems like it will not improve, then I want to be allowed to go quickly. No feeding tubes, no massive attempts to resuscitate, etc. If I get Alzheimer's and reach the point where I don't know my family, I want them to cease medical treatment. I don't believe in euthanasia, but I don't want the medical community to keep me going long after I'm really gone. I believe God will take us when it's time, if we'll let Him.

I know not everyone will agree and I wouldn't expect them to, but I do think everyone should think ahead and make their wishes known to their loved ones.