Yes, Number5, you can recover who you are. It took me a long time to stop flinching, but I believe it's gone. You are already taking the first steps by being totally honest about your situation. Yea, you!

And good for you for reaching out and accepting the love and support from this group and God.

Keep talking. Time will help. You are so brave and loving. Given your history, therapy may help -- or not. I don't know how you feel about it. It helped me heal (although I went to a few therapists before I found the right one for me) because I began to understand that the message that I wasn't "good enough" was a false one.

Praise yourself for each little step you take. Everytime you say, "no, I am not a dingbat. I am a beautiful child of God," feel it to the bottom of your soul. Embrace that moment. It will give you the courage to become stronger every day.

Hugs