NHJackie, so sorry to hear about the cancer. My husband had a stroke on March 29th that completely took us by surprise and definetely affected all four of us in many different ways. These things give us a new perspective on life and probably make us stronger. We value life more and maybe don't take it for granted so much. As time goes on do you feel you're not so afraid of this disease as at the time when you were close to it and it just happened? It gets better each day as the fear subsides but new emotions surface that must be dealt with. Very best wishes to you and your husband and much love too. I understand.