KayB, I so understand exactly what you are saying about turning off your emotions, and this makes you very human. I did the same thing, and just had this VERY discussion today with a friend. I told her that the memories of it all were so painful for me, that I cannot get involved right now with other areas of caregiving.

I know I could write things about caregiving, do volunteer work, speeches, and the like, but my heart won't allow it. Not now. So, believe me, I understand. My best to you in your own healing from the loss of your sweet grandmother, and my prayers are with you in your caregiving role as life moves on. I'm here if you ever need me!

JJ

Bravo to all of you! We MUST change Medicare now. Start writing to your state's represenstatives and senators.

Start talking to your community groups and churches. Anytime you have an opportunity to write a letter to the editor, call a radio talk show, or comment on the Internet, do it!

As for grief and healing, it took me six months after my father died 20 years ago to stop crying everyday. Now, although I rarely cry and talking about him makes me feel he's still with me, there are still some things that will move me to tears, even sobbing. I don't think we ever get over the loss of someone we loved, nor should we. However, with time, it gets easier. Let yourself feel the pain.

For those of you who discussed rehab options after illness, there are home health agencies and there are even agencies that will provide someone everday for houskeeping, errands, etc.

I used to take my mother to daycare once or twice a week at an assisted living facility where I hired several CNAs to come after their shifts were over. The current caregiver I have was a referral from my mother's physical therapist who we get through home health.

Speaking of daycare. There are assisted living facilities that have day care services. You can drop your parent off sometimes as early as 7:00am and pick up is sometimes as late as 8:00pm. They also have respite services which I have used. This was great for my mother because she interacted with other people. New owners discontinued the program and I haven't found another one in the area.

As for work, some companies, like IBM, let their employees work from home. Others caregivers I know have started home-based businesses.

Just some things to think about . . .

Also, and this may have been mentioned(?), churchs are popping up everywhere with "Elder Day Care" programs.

F N - wouldn't it be great if we all had a STANDARD letter that could be shared among millions of us, to send to our state representatives and congressmen regarding these issues? Maybe more than one letter? One for Medicare? One for the rising cost of nursing homes and assisted living facilities? One for suspected elder abuse? yada...yada...yada...

Hey, maybe there are already things like this in existence?

JJ

I bet there are, and we could probably find them if we Googled enough.

I have a dear friend who just began a new business that helps boomers keep their parents in their homes by offering all kinds of services to do so. This could be the wave of the future. Any thoughts?

Oh Dotsie...please have your friend give us insight... We could actually help her spread the word.

JJ

And that could be a home-based business -- offering services or being a clearinghouse for services.

I have been in caregiver mode for the past two days. I had to take my mother to the ER again. She has pneumonia and a low sodium level, both common in elderly people. I stayed with her from 11:00 pm on Sunday night until 9:30 tonight (Monday). A friend finally persuaded me to leave by telling me if I got sick or worn out, I couldn't care for her. I hated to leave her but she's right.

As caregivers, our friends are great support for us.

So here I sit . . . overwhelmed and over-tired as I'm sure so many in my situation often find themselves, exhausted and running the gamut of emotions.

I'm heading back early tomorrow and I hope I can take her home. Until later . . .

I am saying a prayer for you and your mother tonight. May you be blessed with peace and health.

smile

I am adding you to my prayers F N Rosenstock. Hang in there. We're here for you.
chick

Same here. Prayers all around. If you get time, keep us posted. We're here!

JJ