JJ, what a great question! I would dare to say that you're right on with your suspicion that we go overboard in our frantic attempt to ward off another bout of depression.

While I'm not "diagnosably" obsessive, I do recognize that my fear of relapse and my diligence in not allowing myself to become depressed again might be why I have such a problem having fun and enjoying myself...because everything I set out to do for pleasure, I do precisely as an antidote to depression. So where's the fun in taking medicine, right?

Still, I guess it's my hope that "if I act enthusiastically" long enough, I will truly become enthusiastic. But I do personally have to find a balance between that fear of relapse and learning how to manage myself more realistically. And I have to learn how to relax into those activities more, so as to find the fun I'm supposed to be having! Doing a jigsaw puzzle in two days doesn't sound like fun, it sounds like yet another "should" in action. Know what I mean?

The thing about the HP books is that I started reading again as a "should" thing, to try and increase my repertoire of enjoyable things to do because that's what I ought to be doing, having fun, right? While I devoured books as a child, I had lost the ability to concentrate after my first major breakdown. The most I could read at one time was the occasional magazine article.

My nieces convinced me to try the HP books. I was skeptical, but the Harry Potter books took me completely by surprise by drawing me in and allowing me to totally escape, which hasn't happened since I was a child. It WAS enjoyable.

But that's not why I'm reading them for the third time...that's purely a memory thing. While reading the sixth book, it became foggy-clear how much I couldn't remember. So I'm re-reading the entire series again to try and connect the various references mentioned in the sixth book. Sigh. I'll probably have to do it again for the seventh book.

This memory thing is both a curse and a blessing! How many other people can read books or watch movies over and over again as if each time is the first time!