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#73366 - 06/16/05 01:54 AM
Re: The Panic Diaries, Jeanne Jordan and Julie Pedersen, Ph.D.
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Lion, I have the same discomfort about people behind me. I wouldn't call it a fear anymore, just a discomfort. I think a fear is something I think I have no control over. Now I can control how close someone stands to me; I can simply walk away! It used to be that my palms would sweat, I would sweat, my heart race, and I felt trapped. Now I'm more likely to say, "hey bud, give me some space, why don't ya." In a restaurant, I cannot be comfortable if my back is to the door or to an open space. I cannot stand it when I'm in a position where the waiter comes to the table from behind me. I have to have my back to the wall. It's easy for me to know where these discomforts come from. What matters now is how I deal with it. If I'm out with friends, I simply assert that I would be more comfortable in the spot to the back. I used to not be able to go to movies because the seats are so close I'd feel claustrophobic. Now I just move until I'm comfortable. It's interesting what you said about your bored child, Lion. And Julie, I lived in Arizona and had a tarantula on the inside windshield of my car! I bet Billy Bob was beat with some sticks of old furniture. LLL
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#73369 - 06/16/05 04:46 AM
Re: The Panic Diaries, Jeanne Jordan and Julie Pedersen, Ph.D.
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Member
Registered: 03/12/04
Posts: 1177
Loc: Decatur, Illinois
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My husband knows I will only set in a place with my back against the wall. I will not sit so there is a door behind me. Paranoid I guess.
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#73371 - 06/16/05 11:55 AM
Re: The Panic Diaries, Jeanne Jordan and Julie Pedersen, Ph.D.
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Member
Registered: 11/28/02
Posts: 887
Loc: SW Florida
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I dont do heights well - but it's not a fear - I just get dizzy and light-headed - and have a real chance of falling.
I fear spiders -- not just don't like them -- I fear them -- those desensitizing exercises I hear about wouldn't work for me when it comes to them. I would never get that far ;-)
As far as the "someone behind me" - I'm uncomfortable with my back to an open door - but that's because of all the wacho's running around out there that like running in with guns and shooting everyone in the McDonalds - that's paranoia - not fear.
If all of a sudden I realize there's someone too close behind me I don't have control of the situation by moving away or asking them to back off -- I just freeze -- in the spot --I used to shape shift into an alter that would take care of the intruder and keep us safe until the situation passed. But since I don't switch anymore -- I just have a panic attack.
Maybe it's that I'm afraid of people. That's why I don't go too many places without my husband. If I'm alone, I watch everyone -- for instance, if I go into a convenience store and there are people in there - I will take the isles along the walls to get to the other side of the store instead of just walking right through. Or if I'm walking up to the door and some man is going to get to the door just about the time I am -- I will hesitate or turn and go back to the car -- just to avoid him. I will sit in my car until I feel it's safe to go into the store -- but it's not paranoia -- it's chill to my bones, sweat like a construction worker, stop breathing, break out in hives, want to run and hide FEAR.
Yet, if I'm with my husband, I am as trustful and naive as a child. I talk to everyone, help people, enjoy being out in the world. Go figure.
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#73372 - 06/16/05 04:03 PM
Re: The Panic Diaries, Jeanne Jordan and Julie Pedersen, Ph.D.
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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I think our memories can be stored in our cells, thus making. Lion, I used to be like you in regards to fear. The other day, my husband and I were in a safe and sane Whole Foods Market. We were searching the store for salad dressing. There were 3 young guys in their work aprons in the aisle at a shelf. My husband said, "Go ask one of them." I said, "You're going to send ME to ask 3 guys?" A group of guys might as well be a lion's den. However, I did do it 1) to show my husband what a wimp he is about asking for directions 2) to show myself there is nothing to fear. I've learned these desensitization techniques from my counselor. And, although my husband is my safe place, I don't want to rely on him to feel safe in the world. Love and Light, Lynn
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