The abusive man is all about power and control. Here are some examples of covert behaviors that indicate an abusive character:

Using Intimidation
Making her afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
Smashing things, destroying her property
Abusing pets
Displaying weapons

Using Emotional Abuse
Putting her down
Making her feel bad about herself
Calling her names
Making her think she’s crazy
Playing mind games
Humiliating her
Making her feel guilty

Using Isolation
Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes
Limiting her outside involvement
Using jealousy to justify actions

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming
Making light of the abuse
Not taking her concerns about it seriously
Saying the abuse did not happen
Shifting responsibility for abuse behavior
Saying she caused it

Using Children
Making her feel guilty about children
Using the children to relay messages
Using visitation to harass her
Threatening to take the children away

Using Male Privilege
Treating her like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Acting like the “master of the castle”
Being the one to define men’s & women’s roles

Using Economic Abuse
Preventing her from getting or keeping a job
Making her ask for money
Giving her an allowance
Taking her money
Not letting her know about or have access to family income

Using Coercion & Threats
Making and/or carrying out threats to do something to her her
Threatening to leave her
Threatening to commit suicide
Threatening to report her to welfare
Making her drop charges
Making her do illegal things