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#72976 - 04/19/05 02:17 PM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
P.S.

You're doing a wonderful job on this thread!

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#72977 - 04/20/05 03:21 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Dear Dianne, your advice is so valuable to me, as is your compliment. As you know, one of my character flaws is potent insecurity! I confess that I require more than a typical amount of reassurance. At least I've come to believe the good comments, rather than dismiss them as sympathy votes! I will follow your advice to the letter! LLL

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#72978 - 04/20/05 03:24 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Here is passage about my reading habits in 3rd grade. When did reading strike a chord with you, and in what ways did you use reading? Escape? Entertainment? Learning? I loved reading so much that I wanted to be a book. Isn't that strange? Since my book is my work, I am figuratively speaking of course, a walking book! ***Shortly after Thanksgiving, my mother was sick for several weeks with phlebitis, an inflammation of the veins in her legs. Blood clots could form if she stood for too long, so the doctor prescribed pills and bed rest. After school, after chores, I read Nancy Drew mysteries, two or three in a row. When I finished with those, I borrowed Eric’s Hardy Boys adventures. No amount of reading could quench the thirst I had for my mother’s company.***What did you read as a child? What do you read now?

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#72979 - 04/20/05 03:37 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Lynn, have you considered starting a local support group? Maybe there's a shelter in town that would allow you to do so. You may not get payed, but it would continue to frame you as an expert in the field.

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#72980 - 04/19/05 07:03 PM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Eagle Heart Offline
Member

Registered: 03/22/05
Posts: 4876
Loc: Canada
quote:
Originally posted by lynn329:
one of my character flaws is potent insecurity! I confess that I require more than a typical amount of reassurance. At least I've come to believe the good comments, rather than dismiss them as sympathy votes!

Lynn, I guess this shouldn't have surprised me, but it does. You've been doing such an amazing job here, you radiate confidence and light. It heartens me to see a fellow "potently insecure" person shining so bright with hope and positive strength.

It's a huge step (takes enormous will and discipline) to be willing and able to believe the good (which is more often the REAL truth about ourselves) feedback rather than to immediately dismiss the positive stuff as impossible (the dismissal being the real lie).

You do indeed shine. [Cool] I know because my life has brightened considerably since meeting you. And that's the truth.

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#72981 - 04/19/05 08:19 PM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
You pay retail for your books? That doesn't make any sense. How do you make money? Nosey question, I know. I buy mine half price from my publisher.

Dotsie is right about a support group or you could offer to volunteer at a local shelter. That's how I started. I sat in on the support group and offered advice from what I'd learned. Went from that to facilitating and then, wrote my book. You will be surprised and honored at how much your words will help a struggling woman find a new path.

Insecurity. That goes hand in hand with childhood abuse. I was the same way. It's extremely difficult to get rid of those old voices that try to replay in our minds from good old mom or dad. I yanked out my recorder! Yep, sure did. Stomped it to death and replaced it with a brand new CD player that only hears and sees the positive and doesn't play the old negative trash anymore. [Cool]

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#72982 - 04/20/05 01:20 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi everyone, as a social worker, I have facilitated support groups. The quandry I am in is being new to the area, and therefore the resources don't know me, and vice versa. I am in the process of completing the paperwork to become a volunteer for CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocate. I am also going to introduce myself to a DV shelter here. Also, the Unity Church here asked me to facilitate a monthly book club, which is not in the SA or DV realm, but nonetheless will build community relations.

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#72983 - 04/20/05 01:22 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi Dianne, I'm sorry if I misinformed you. I do not pay retail for my box of books. I buy them at a discount, then sell them retail. That's how I make money. However, since I used print-on-demand self-publish, I had to put money up to get published. Thus far, I have not broke even cost versus expense, but I am getting there.

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#72984 - 04/20/05 01:31 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
Hi Eagle, thanks for your kind words. Like Dianne says, insecurity is a ramification of an abusive childhood. You know, when a child is abused, the truth gets skewed until the child does not know what to believe, even as an adult. Because with abuse, a child thinks, "This can't be true! I thought this person love me, cherished me, protected me. And here he is using and abusing me." So, what the child thought was true was no longer, and it becomes second-nature to believe the lies. I believed the lies. When my father and brother told me: "If you tell, no one will believe you," I believed THAT, instead of considering that what they were telling me was a lie. Dianne is so right about breaking through the negative tapes. The trouble is learning to replace those tapes with the positive, and then believing the positive. I heard that in Japan, when one compliments another, the receipient of the compliment is to say: "That is true. Thank you very much." To deny the compliment is considered rude and offensive. Eagle, you wrote: "You do indeed shine. I know because my life has brightened considerably since meeting you. And that's the truth." I am so glad! I cherish these words. Thank you very much. I am happy that we have reached out to one another, and we are holding on!

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#72985 - 04/20/05 03:17 AM Re: Lynn Tolson, Beyond The Tears: A True Survivor's Story
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
This was from post on 4/19 at 12:24 pm: "What did you read as a child? What do you read now?" I am curious, as we all seem to love books. What, if any, memories do you have of books influencing you as a child?

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