Dotsie and Eagle, I would love to be able to walk and have tea with both of you! I can't tell you all how much your reaching out to help me has meant today. I really was feeling very low and I felt like I was complaining too much about this. But when something is weighing heavily on your heart you want to get it off. And you all helped to lift it off. And you've lifted me up.
My best friend is away right now and I haven't been able to talk to him for weeks.
So thanks, all of you, for stepping in and making me feel less alone (emontionally). I wish I could be alone physically, a little more!

All of you who have sustained long marriages - I bow to you. It takes a lot of work. I almost made it to my twentieth anniversary then he decided to do an about face and try to find that fountain of youth he thought he was missing. Ah well. Such is life. But, you know, there was a reason it didn't last. Sometimes, a couple reaches the end of the road and although there is a lot of heartache involved, it's what must be and people need to understand that and move on. That's the trouble a lot of people have - moving on from what was comfortable into something that is unknown. But it's all part of your individual life and you have to deal with it. My kudos to those who have sustained long marriages! It is to you I have most utmost admiration. ;o)

Dotsie- they really say in Marriage Encounter weekends that they are for good marriages that just need a little reconnection. It's all about communication and not counseling but they do good work as far as that

Thanks again, to all of you who have given your input and concern. I really appreciate just having people listen and emphathize with me.
But you've all gone past that! God bless you all.

overthehill, living a life that wasn't originally in the works is tough. I know a few women who thought they'd be married forever, but have found themselves single at midlife and are adjusting. It doesn't appear easy.

Pattyann, thank. I've never heard that.

Western, it's my pleasure to encourage you in your marriage because I know how important family life is to you.

DH and I have been married for more than twenty years. (We had two weddings--a long story for another time--but it causes me to confuse the dates all the time!) I was married before, and was lucky to get myself and my kids out alive.
I married my current husband because I "liked" him and more important, I knew he would make an excellent father/stepfather for my children. I know that doesn't seem very romantic (my husband says I'm getting better, but I'm the one with no romance in my soul in our relationship.) We have always been friends, but we had some rough times, mostly because of me. I was confident my hubby would provide for my children (he turned out to be a GREAT dad, and eventually adopted my kids), but I could not/would not trust him to also take care of me. That refusal to rely on DH (legacy of the first husband, I'm sure) hurt him, and at times, caused him to "live down" to the image I had of a husband. Anyway, when my kids were getting ready to leave home, I panicked, because I was convinced once they were gone, he and I would have nothing left. Well, the year before the kids graduated, we started a once-a-week date night. He chose one week, I chose the next. The only rules were each had to go along with the other's choice for at least one time and we could not talk about the kids. Naturally, we sat in near-complete silence for the first few dates, but then we found more and more to talk about. I sat through some really weird concerts, tractor pulls, and even attended the "Frozen Dead Guy Days" once, but it has been worth it. The kids have been gone for more than a decade, and we still have our date night, and we've added "date vacations." In 2006 that will include a trip to Newfoundland and in 2007 we're touring Britain.
Do I love him? Not the way they portray it in the movies. But, I respect and admire him, and there is certainly nobody in the world more precious to me than him. Each of us makes the DAILY effort to enhance the life of the other. I don't know if that is love, but it works for us. Now, when people ask me if I'm married (I don't wear a ring, due to skin allergies) I reply, "VERY and HAPPILY"
Says somethin', don't ya think?