Welcome Prill,
I'm glad that Dotsie invited you to be our featured author this month. I've been meaning to get your book for awhile now and this was just the push I needed. Can't wait to read it!

Hi Sherri & TVC15. Thank you both for taking the time to post an entry. Hope you enjoy the book.

Sherri, I clicked on your website. Love the picture of you with your grandchild! As far as your confusion about what to do next in your life, I can sympathize. I felt this way, too, as I was contemplating whether to teach full time or quit my job and write. (I ended up choosing the latter.) The financial aspect is important to consider, but you indicate that everything will be okay no matter what. (Am I right?) What a blessing that is.

Something I've been learning from listening to life story after life story these past four years--not to mention living my own--is that our timing is immaculate. We often tell ourselves that we aren't moving forward fast enough in our lives...or that such and such a decision was made was too hastily. (We can be so unkind to ourselves.) But in the overarching scheme of things, when one looks back at one's life as a whole, there's a perfection there. So my advice would be to relax and take your time to get clarity. Most of all, enjoy this moment right now because it's the only moment you have. Future ones aren't guaranteed.

As far as my own life goes, my youngest son is graduating from college in May. I'm not quite ready for grandchildren yet. Heck, I'm not even ready for a dog!

Prill,

Thanks visiting my website. Little Kenzie is living with us right now along with her 2 year old brother and 3 year old sister. So many things to think about and do. I want to make some changes in my life, and I really am just trying to sit back and let go. It is sooooo hard to do that!

If I would have gotten my early retirement buyout, I could have taken care of the financial aspect and all would be fine. Then no question, I would out of the 40 hour work week, and doing what I want to do. I may know something by Monday, but right now it isn't looking good.

I am going to order your book today as soon as I can get on my big computer (Daughter is taking off all her pictures right now to transfer to her computer.)

Looking forward to this month with you.

Sherri

Sherri--

I've got my fingers--and toes--crossed for you for the retirement buyout. Sometimes we don't know what's best for us, though. Don't you agree? Here's a Shakespeare quote I love. It comforts me when things don't seem to be going my way:

"We, ignorant of ourselves, / Beg often our own harms, which the wise pow'rs / Deny us for our good; so we find profit / By the losing of our prayers" (Anthony & Cleopatra, Act II, scene 1, line 5).

My oldest son Gabriel said to me once that I'm not as comfortable with silence as he is. Maybe it's a woman thing to want to keep the conversation going. Who knows. But since no one has posted in the past 12 hours or so, I will again. (I'm almost never at a loss for words. )

Despite what I said above about not yet wanting grandchildren—or even a dog—I was a little sad this morning when I dropped my youngest son off at the station to catch a train to Philly. He’s going back to college for the last time today. Usually he comes home for a week in March, but this year he’s going to be traveling for Spring Break. In the past he’s come back to Connecticut for at least part of the summer; but after graduating in May, he’ll be moving in with friends. All of this is to the good. I want him to be independent. But it struck me as I waved goodbye that I wouldn’t be doing this again next year.

On an unrelated note, every day I try and do one bold thing. (This is something I started when I began writing Defying Gravity.) My friend Tamara M. is my "bold partner." We check in with other and share what we've done. Some days, being bold for me means doing something as simple as making a phone call or writing a letter. (Yesterday I wrote Gayle King, the Editor at Large of O Magazine, to tell her personally about my book. I had seen her New Year’s Day on television leading a panel at the California Governor’s Conference on Women and Families and was inspired by her warmth, honesty and positive attitude.) Today I think I’m going to be bolder still and say yes to an offer I just received to do a workshop in Illinois this spring. I’ve never done the kind of workshop the organizers are asking me to create, and I’m nervous about it, but I figure, “Why not?”

Honestly, I can't believe how bold I've become. I used to think of myself as shy. But from the beginning of this project, I felt that I had to practice what I was advocating or my message wouldn't ring true.

What about you gals? Anyone been bold lately?

Prill, I also bid farewell to my college age son this morning before church. I shed some tears last night, but contolled myself when I gave him a tight hug this morning. He has a ten hour drive to school. He's extremely independent for which I'm most grateful. Last night he packed all his bags, etc. and loaded his car by himself. This is the first time we didn't help in some way. I love his independence, but that's why I was shedding tears. He hardly needs us any more. Amazing, isn't it?

Being bold? My faith has taught me to be bold. God has given me the direction and strength to take every little step along this site and book journey. I don't know where I would be without Him.

You should definitely do the workshop. They obviously have the confidence in you to do a great job, or they wouldn't have asked. What is the subject? Does it pertain to your book? IS it an opportunity to sell books?

Well, Prill, I used to be bold and now I'm not. Wish I could remember how I did it!?! Any advice other than 'just do it'? It might be because I used to be 'single' and now I have an 8 year old to care for...and maybe not...I just wonder about myself these days. Trying to find my way back to my 'good parts' and down load the acquired 'bad parts'.

Dotsie--

How wild! I had no idea you were going through the same thing today. And, yes, it's amazing how they grow up. Like you, I controlled myself when I gave Ev a tight hug this morning. (I shed my tears as I was posting my entry.) The bottom line is that even though the last of my children left today, being a mom never stops. I still worry about my 28 year old, even though he's doing great. I can't help it.

As far as the conference goes, thank you SO MUCH for your encouragement. It really helps. The conference is being sponsored by the Women's Center at the College of Lake County in Grayslake, Illinois. The theme is "Doing Gender Better: Rethinking Our Roles in Family, Work, Education and the Media." I'm comfortable speaking about late blooming, finding voice and even women's literature (I used to teach a women's lit course), but I haven't specifically thought about the issue above. I need to put together a one-page proposal today if I'm going to do it. If I accept, they'll pay me a stipend for my transportation and for the workshop. And, yes, I will be able to sell books there. Can you believe I would have even considered declining?

Which brings me to Unique's question/plea for advice. You're not going to like this, Unique. You specifically told me NOT to say it. But my advice is to just do it. Really. Just be bold. Start small. Four years ago I remember telling a friend who had extended me an invitation to a party that I loved her and loved coming to her house, but I hated parties and just didn't want to come. It sounds like such a little thing, but it was bold of me to say this. Before, I would have either gone to the party anyway or made some excuse not to attend. These days I accept almost all invitations--or at least seriously consider them--to stretch myself, make connections and meet new people. I really enjoy getting out there. But back then I was just starting practicing being bold (and, for me, it is a practice, it is a habit I've built) and it was scary to be so truthful. The cool thing is that the woman, her name was Lee, not only understood what was I doing (I told her I was practicing being bold), but was tickled.

So what I'm saying, Unique, is that I think you'll feel better about yourself and recapture some of that spirit you feel you've lost (did I articulate this right? am I "getting" what you're experiencing?) if you take some action. You don't have to do anything big. Being a mom of an 8-year old might slow you down--it certainly slowed me down when I was at that stage of my life--but it doesn't have to keep you from being the person you want to be.

Unique, I am afraid I am in the same position except for different reasons. (or are they just excuses?)
When I was a single mother I was totally movitaved and boldly did all kinds of things. I have led "business planning" workshops and understand the importance of beginning a plan be it for a business or for a life with a vision and from that developing a mission. Maybe I have lost my mission and am living my vision.

I still do things, but not near as boldly as before. Maybe it's just age or maybe I peaked too early or maybe it's that I no longer have the mission and challenge of supporting and educating my children. Or maybe it's just that the particular "passage" (another good book BTW) of my life is now over and I can relax and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I'm quite happy and perhaps too content, but on some level I guess I have bloomed once and maybe I am in bloom now, but I would like to bloom again, maybe in a whole new flower.
And I too hear "Just do it a lot." I believe it and it has worked for me before, but somehow now I need something to empower me first. Maybe Unique feels the same.
Any input Prill.
smile