Okay, friends, I have a question: is this a test or is it trust? My husband was with me when we met up with my former b.f. and his g.f. (They now have a 3 year old son.) We all went out to dinner a couple of times, and we all got along well. In fact, if we lived close, we would all be friends. Next month, I am going to Vermont to a writer's conference, where b.f. lives. My husband suggested that I have b.f. pick me up at the airport. My husband knows that I do not like to travel solo. He knows that I need reliable and familiar faces to get around. So, I wrote b.f. letter and he (b.f.) agrees that he can pick me up at the airport, and he even asked me if I wanted to stay at his house during the conference. I already paid for the dorm room. Now I am wondering if my husband was testing me, thinking I should say, "No, I don't want b.f. to pick me up," or just trusting me. I think trusting me. My husband is fairly secure, and nothing can or will "happen" between b.f. and I. Kate, yes, sometimes deep feelings can come up that we have to deal with. The question for me was whether or not these feelings were relevant to the here and now or filtered through the lens of the past. I was not able to grieve anything from my childhood until I was in my forties. Seeing b.f. was all about the closure, but it also opened us up to friendship. The main question in When Harry Met Sally was: can women and men be open to just being friends, or do all relationships have to fall into a romantic mode? And if the romantic mode fails, does the entire relationship have to end, or can the parties be friends? The g.f. is 13 or 14 years younger then my ex b.f. and to my knowledge they have not married. He has never been married. I like her very much. Love and Light, Lynn