Thanks everyone. I do want to make it very clear that when we were together neither of us behaved in a way that his wife would have disapproved of.
We did not flirt at all. I was just caught off guard after returning home from my trip by some fairly heavy emotions. I am sure that seeing the photo album of us together is what did it. I don't want to break up his family or cause his wife any distress. I actually felt guilty because I had hurt him so long ago and felt bad. But I was young and foolish then with little life experience. I have lived in the past too long and had been going back to get answers. I think I am finished with the past, I think now I can leave what happened where it needs to stay. I agree with JJ "looking up old flames gives you a sense of feeling loved, because you knew you WERE loved by these men THEN...and obviously, your EX didn't give you this"
All in all going back was necessary for me to move forward, that is what this original post was about. Sometimes although dangerous if you have unfinished business you have to go back. Not everyone needs closure but I'm the type of person who does. I understand how reuniting with an old flame can cause major damage to a marriage but I don't think that is the case with my situation. I thing my old boyfriend and I needed to heal and hopefully by meeting that is what we did.
I'm finished with the past though. It is time to move forward. After being on my own for 10 years hopefully I can make new memories. If I can just learn to let my guard down a little I may even meet someone and allow myself to be loved.
Thanks again, and I will continue to post as this is a great group....I can tell :-)