Hi Dotsie, yes, this old flame is picking me up at the airport when I go to the writer's conference in Vermont. I don't have fantasies about him, or long for him, or pine away regretting lost years. My place is with my husband, and the old bf's place is where ever he happens to be in that moment. It's a long story of how we got reconnected. There was nothing surrepticious about the reunion. For years, whenever he came to mind, I would use this affirmation: "I release ***** to his destiny. I am now able to claim and complete my own." I could not have guessed that the destiny was to reconnect. My exbf has a girlfriend of @7 years. She was 37 and he was 51 when he had his FIRST child! Whenever my husband and I are having a friendly fight, I tell him, "You better be nice to me or I'l go live with ****" (meaning the ex-bf.) My husband and I are so secure with each other that we can joke. Eagle, I am so sorry you subjected yourself to tough love. I am sad that you were in such despair and longing. I hope their responses were more about what they loved in you and less about what they didn't. My ex bf saw through my layers of self-loathing to my soul, and for a brief while we had a connection. My husband received a phone call from his ex wife several years ago. I realized how mature and secure I'd become because her call was like a fly I just wanted to swat away. Love and Light, Lynn