Kay5..When someone quits the group like ladybug did, they can go in and delete all their posts which leaves gaps and it appears your answering someone elses and I was responding to some of the missing now, ladybug posts and..YES phone sex is definitely porn, no doubt about it. I have managed to gather more information about relationships or lack of same from not only women but from the men themselves and have a multitude of material for my book. Plus I can and do give qualified advice from the secrets and thoughts of the men I talk with. Men of different races, backgrounds, ages and situaions. Wealthy men, poor men, single men, gay men but MOSTLY MARRIED MEN. Who better to ask advice than from a woman privie to the thoughts and dreams of these cheating losers. I make no excuse for what I do, it pays very well and gives me the opportunity to learn and then to council from what I have learned. I have fallen victim to porn as well in the past and hate it for what it can become and create between a man and woman. People that know me know that 'phone actress' is what I do not who I am and I apologize to no one. I have been looked to by psychologist friends for advice with clients that would not be forthcoming about porn, about their feelings and gulit for the failure of a marriage. Anyway its complicated and not relevent here. I do other much nicer work as well as a freelance writer, foster numerous animals for the SPCA and have my own RE business. I am a Jill of all trades so to speak. Good question by the way!

[ October 11, 2005, 08:34 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

Chatty,
Your honesty and your hard won wisdom is wonderfully refreshing.
smile

Chattylady
Ok...I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, everyone is entitled to work at whatever job they can perform to the best of their ability. And you sound happy that your work is satisfying to you - and you should not have to apologize for the choices in your life.

I wrestle with just how long you will work in the porn industry to gather research for your book?-
My hope is that you will take all of the valuable info./insight you have acquired, and try to spread the word against men using serivces like yours!! For Pete's sake.....I look forward to you appearing on TV with Oprah!!!! (or Dr. Phil).

Believe it or not, I've been judged and condemned for working with battered women because there is a small percentage of people that believe "these women" not only ask for it, they like it. I invited Chatty to my website and let the women there ask her everything they wanted to know about the men who are her customers. They had a lot of questions too!

After being judged by my family for so many years and backing down to their beliefs, I have chosen to stop judging others. I don't have the right because all I have to do is look at myself for the things I've done wrong. I will never judge Chatty for what she does because it isn't my right and it isn't my business. All in all, how does Chatty's line of work change us anyway?

"These women" cannot like it. If they are "guilty" of anything, it's loving a man that they hope will change.
People who judge them (and you) are the twisted ones.

Bluebird,

Would you clarify your post. I don't understand what you are saying.

danita

In our lives we have all had to do things we really didn't enjoy doing. Sometimes, "those things" are done for support of our families, or friends.

Some times, we support the "whole" through the gift of words and wisdom that comes from experience.

Life lessons, shared knowledge passed along so we can be aware of how others think and feel, using that knowledge for growth.

Personally, I'm thankful of those gifts.

OOPS! I guess my post wasn't clear! I was replying to Dianne's post about some people judging her and saying that battered women like being battered. What I meant was that battered women do not like it, they are sometimes staying with the man because they love them and hope to change them. I was saying that whoever would judge battered woman, or Dianne for working with them, are the twisted ones. I apologize if anyone thought I meant the women or Dianne were twisted.
Just goes to show how I can write something with one intention and it could be read so differently. I will try to be more careful in my wording.

Thank you all for understanding my soapbox rantings. yes, I plan to write a book about this experience--just looking for the best avenue to approach it so that it isn't a tell'all.

Chatty, I had no idea your work was on the phone. May I ask, how do you seperate the work from the rest of your life? Doesn't it bleed over or taint how you react to others? I've always wondered how anyone keeps something like that seperated--like police or firemen--how do you not 'take it home with you'? Just curious, not trying to be nosy.

WEstern, thanks so much for the clarification, and responding to my email. I so appreciate it. NOw I sound like my daughter!