My church has a very active recovery program for porn addicts. It is open to anyone. A couple spoke very openly about the problems it caused in their marriage at a recent church service.

I think more and more churches are recognizing and addressing the problem. Maybe those with porn addicted husbands could look around for programs in local churches.

smile

I think the churches are on to a really great idea.

I wonder how many husbands will go and instead insist that they don't have a problem.

Smile it's interesting that you would ask the question that if my husband loved me the way Christ loved the church, would he desecrate that love by bringing porn into it. My priest said the same thing yesterday! He asked if I thought Jim loved me (or the kids) in a sacrificial way, like Jesus loves His bride and I could not answer him. I wanted to say no, but I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Number5, I also have viewed submission to my husband as Godly and good. I always tell my kids that he is the head of the house and have tried to treat him that way. But when something like this happens, it feels as if satan is the head of my house and it sickens me.
God is allowing me to suffer this, so I must offer it up for the good of my husband's soul...even if he doesn't seem concerned about it.

Bluebird, it would concern me very much and it does to hear a 12 year old is viewing porn. It's good that you found this out and try to put a stop to it. If your son knows dad views porn then he has set a very bad example for the boy.

Most men do not feel this is such a big deal but I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot?????????

It does concern me, but I undertand that 12 year olds are curious.
The sins of the father are visited on the sons....

Bluebird,
You seem to have such a profound faith, but I can see the pain in your posts. I wondered if you have read the book, "The Power of a Praying Wife." I don't remember the author's name. It speaks to some of the things you are concerned about and how when prayer is all you can do, it is the best thing to do.

Just a thought.

smile

Bluebird, I hope you don't think I meant to imply that you aren't submitting to your husband. You sound like a wonderful lady and are probably a wonderful wife.

Men are drawn to porn because their lives lack excitement and the thrill of the challenge. It is just an opinion, but it seems to me men are born with the hunter, protector, provider gene. When they get up go to work, come home, go bowling or fishing, hang out with the guys, go to church....after a while all that becomes unchallenging to them. They have nothing to prove to themselves or to anyone else. The praise ends and for many, their purpose for being alive ends when they retire.
The young sexy female who portrays herself as "innocent" just too hot for her own good, just needing a big hero like (one of the unwitting husbands) becomes a challenge. They imagine themselves in the conquest of the nubile female and winning the prize.
I also think that is what is wrong with our teens, the challenge, the prize to attain is either out of reach or not there at all. A reason to be, a challenge to show the world and their family that they are special and worthwhile. Mormons, which I do not believe in, but at least they do this right, send their young people out for a year to prove themselves. In Israel, the young are required to spend a year in the military.
Men need praise, they need a challenge, submission with a challenge. I don't have the answers, but I can assure you, I keep my husband on his toes all the time. I'm not that easy to "get". I challenge his ideas in a respectful way, I prod him to try new things, new places, different positions, new clothing, new vacation spots, I change my look frequently, my hair color on whim, my interests change.
Even changing what side of the bed you sleep on can make a difference. Shake up his life a bit. Separation would certainly do it.
He can probably sense you don't really want to have sex with him as much as he would like. There are other ways to please your man too....But you have to have the desire to do it. You have to make up your mind if he is worth your effort and do you really want him as a life partner until the end.

number5, I didn't think you were implying that at all.
Believe me, I try to get my husband to get involved in things, get some interests. For him it's work, then TV, then me (the order of the day)...

Bluebird, you are so wise and faithful. I have total confidence that God will lead you to do what is best for you and your family. Be patient, alert, and prayerful. God is at work here. Continue to let Him do His work, but be sure to lean on Him and listen. He will give you the answers you need. That's one of His promises. I'm carrying you and yoru family in my heart.

Good Morning Ladies! I don't have internet at home so I missed a whole weekend of posts on this subject. Most of you know that I have a FIRM opinion that porn is wrong, wrong, wrong. It destroyed my marriage, it is an addiction that continuously must be fed and grow and with each feeding the viewer must have more, worse, more radical pictures. When 'low-grade' porn no longer satisfies they go looking for harder porn or gravitate towards gay or child porn. It will destroy if not cut off. It must be dealt with just like alchohol or drugs, not one picture must be viewed or it will open up the door to the addiction again.

Bluebird, young boys that view porn can 'sear' that part of the mind that deals with sex. There is much research on the subject on the internet. I know Dr. Dobson from Focus on the Family has some great info. It is dangerous for your son's future--his happiness, his ability to interact with women in a healthy manner, his future wife and relationship with her--to be viewing porn at this tender age.

The verses from the Bible about submitting to your husband could be viewed as having sex when they want, but could also be used in the context of anything else.

We are to love, honor and respect them. We are to obey them BUT if we are putting ourselves or our children in danger then we have to take a stand. That verse is a two-fold verse. We are to submit when they ARE being a godly head of household.

If they told us to help them rob a bank, we wouldn't--it would be against the law. If they wanted to have sex with our children, we wouldn't allow it--we would fight with everything we had to keep our chidlren safe. The word submit can be confusing and should not be misconstrued as a way to control us or use us as door mats. Be wise, be watchful, pray and God will show you what to do.

OK end of soapbox....