Sex is another one of these personal, one-size-doesn't-fit-all issues. I sympathize with you, Bonnie. It's not easy when the guy won't communicate. And I don't know what to do when you don't have the desire. But I agree with DallasGal that actively taking charge of one's sex life is liberating. Dotsie, you seem to be saying the same thing between the lines of your postings.

Here's something I did for my husband as soon as our last child left home. (Let me echo Dotsie and assure you that Mike doesn't mind if I share these intimate details.) For a present, I gave him four coupons for sex initiated by me and told him that he could redeem them whenever he wanted. No matter what my mood or time of the month, if he winked and said, "Coupon Number..."--code language for my present--I had to stop whatever I was doing and initiate lovemaking. It was great for our sex life! Ironically, it turned out to be as much a gift for me as it was for him.

Too much information??