OK, married ladies, I have a question that can only be asked here in the forums, because I don't feel like I can ask my friends in person (except for my very best friend). How frequently do you and your husband have sex?

I try to make sure that my husband and I have sex once a week. (I don't like to do it during the work week because I'm just too tired.) He is "OK" with this, but he thinks other couples are having way more sex than him--I think he feels short-changed. But I don't really know what goes on with other people, so I don't know if I'm "short-changing" him or not. (My best friend wasn't any help--she said she and her husband hardly ever have sex because they're not getting along right now!)

If this question offends anyone, please just skip over this thread!

Do you have any idea how many men call the phone sex lines and say the reason is because their wife whom they love, only wants sex once a week or on a certain day. They tell me they get the urge much more often and resent being put on some stupid schedule like when to take out the trash. Its suppose to be from loving feelings and emotions like it was in the beginning of their relationship, not like, "Oh okay if we must." I also asked these men if they talk to their wives about this and they seem to think "why bother" is the answer. They say it will only cause trouble at home. Heads up ladies this is from the horses mouth....

Ok, nobody else is biting. It used to be 2-3 times a week (more when we were on vacation). Then exhaustion, burnout, grief and depression knocked me and my libido out for a couple of years. We had to go for about 2 years with almost no sex, but (thanks to a very patient and supportive hubby) have slowly worked our way back to once every two weeks (less on vacation). I don't know if we'll ever get back to once a week, especially with arthritis beginning to creep into the old hips and knee joints, but hey, one can always keep hoping (and trying)...

Julie, on Wednesday 4/20 Oprah will be discussing this very question. Afterwards, the Oprah message boards and support groups will light up with women who are asking the same quesiton. I'm in Eagle's boat. To exhaustion & depression add multiple moves, infrequent vacations, job hirings and firings, uncovering repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse PLUS a bout of cancer leading to bilateral mastectomy and that equals...well, let's just say, that adds up to ZERO. Not that the spark is not there, not that the desire is not there. It's just that my husband and I are working on a new pattern, and that takes time. Oh, and we are both on anti-depressants, which leads to lack of libido. However, my husband and I always talk about it, have had counseling together about it, and turn to each other about sex, even when we are not having it. Phew! That was kind of hard to answer, but then I am writing a book about learning to trust again after trauma, including the trust that develops with sexual intimacy, so I better get used to reaching out to answer when women kind ask. Love and Light, Lynn

My husband has Sundays and Weds off, so the nights before are the only two nights he doesn't go to bed at 7pm. We try to make use of those special nights.

Sherri

I'm still a newly wed. I lost count.
smile

Smile, you show off you! Newlyweds, that's a different breed! Gosh, back when we were newlyweds, I would have lost count too! I hadn't known it was possible to experience so much joy and pleasure! LLL

Great answer, Smile. But, wait a minute, I lose count all the time too. No wait, that's brainfog, not libido fog...darn. I got all excited there for a moment thinking I had missed something. Then I realized I HAD missed something.

Chatty,

(now I KNOW why you have the nickname)...went to the "solo" website....I'm impressed.

Tried to call you to arrange our meeting - thinking to myself, hmmmm, she must be on the phone. Ha. Crazy mental image!

Can't wait to meet you!

Danita

I only see my husband once a month so there's your answer!