I read through all these threads yesterday an by the end..I was in tears. I dispair greatly when enyone pigeon holes me in a box of any kind, but what saddens me and maddens me more is that I allegedly have a 'symptom'...like an affliction! I am put in a box along with peadophiles, rapists and murderers...and therefore, damned to hell. In all societies, most child abusers are white, middle class, middle aged males.
I personally do not beleive in hell. Hell in my veiw is what I create in the here and now...and if there is any wrong doing in that...my morality states that I put it right before I go back to the loving, compassionate, forgiving God who created me...this way, I become closer. The entity spoken of earlier in my veiw is my free will...and the actions that come from that. If my actions hurt myself or anyone else, I then also have the free will to make it good. As a rule I tend not to be forceful in opinion.....but sometimes I tire of the constant external fight against those who would have me 'damned to hell'.
I ended up in a psych ward at the age of fifteen because I was told I was possessed with the devil, this from a member of 'The Cloth' who was already being 'sexually inappropriate' I was told this and many other terrifying things because I faught against such violation for myself and for other little girls at my school. People were more terrified of 'the establishment' concerned...so all our protests went out to closed ears and minds! Adults knew what was happening and did nothing.
In a few days from now...I will marry the person I was born to end my days with...and I won't let my mind or life be sullied with the 'hate the sin, love the sinner' cr&p. It is a sad state of affairs when I am despised, pitied, mocked and feared because I a have the courage to remain committed to the purity of love. When I love myself enough, my god is within, when I love my self enough...nothing will deter me from the closeness I feel.

Popea