In my opinion, this life is but boot camp for eternity. Growing up with the parents I had wasn't easy. Being married to the men I have been married to hasn't been easy. Loving my children with all my heart and having the youngest with so many addiction problems certainly hasn't been easy.
Loving people and having them turn on you and hate you for being who you are hasn't been easy but I think now after all this time, I thank God for my journey. He knew just exactly what kind of family and what kind of life it would take to prepare me and shape me, mold and make me into the person he wanted me to be for his purpose.
He loves me so much that his purpose for me is to make me into his likeness and his image so he can use me. I'm just here to bring honor to him.
I can bitch and moan about the things life has thrown my way or I can be thankful for them and make the most of them. I can ask God what purpose he had for these events and these people I've had to deal with and them with me.

Ultimately I'm afraid, I'm very afraid, but not of lesbians or homosexuals or rapists or pedefiles. What I'm MOST afraid of is offending God..I'm most afraid of not allowing my circumstances to create a new heart in me and facet after facet of that diamond he wants me to be.
I'm most afraid of not making it to be with him for all eternity. That basically and hehe...metaphorically, scares the Hell out of me.
I can't say I love God and hate you. I would be a liar and a shame to God. I can say without a doubt that I love God and because I have the love of Christ Jesus in me, I can love you and hope you can love me, even with my faults.