Kate,
I too had that same mindset when I first started writing. Especially when I was offered payment. I thought "you want to publish this and PAY me too?" Holy Moly! I realized then I had crossed over into the relm of REALLY writing for a living. It's a great profession, I wouldn't want to be doing anything else in the world, but it is saturated with people just like me trying to make it. So, what do you do? To me the rules are simple

1) GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE - this means submitting your work, tooting your horn when given the opportunity. It means tooting it to those that you believe REALLY want to hear about it, then....then girlfriend...go ahead and take the big leap of faith and toot everywhere else! I mean it. Trust me on this one, if someone doesn't want to read your work, or is offended by it in any way, they will let you know. Keep going...toot...toot...toot.

The more you toot, the more well known you become, the more people will start asking YOU for some of your work, and complimenting you OR OTHERWISE, on your work.

It's all a growing process, and if you don't get yourself out there, how will the world know you even exist?

I think Evie hit the nail on the head when she said we've been taught to be nice, be humble, so forth and so on and it goes against our nature to say "hey world, look at me!" Of course, unless you are a natural born ham, like me. teehee....anyhooo....think of the tooting like you would any other "sales" job. For instance, if you sold cars, would you tell a prospective buyer that you just hated to tell them all the good things about the car? of course not. You would be the first one to greet them on the lot and you would be singing like a canary!

Go for it hon...and don't think of networking as "using" your friends. My guess is that your friends wouldn't look at you that way. It's all about helping one another and I for one can tell you I would not have gotten very far if my writer friends had not encouraged me, lead me to promising work, or spread the word about me. I do the same for them and GLADLY!

Hope this helps, JJ