Wordcharmer, thanks for sharing on this sensitive subject. I wasn't trying to qualify your pain. I was just not minimizing pain in general. The last two sentences of your message I could have written myself. I too was self-destructive as a ramification of child abuse. I know that if I had had children I would have screwed up as a parent (not that I am suggesting you did!) The ramifications of abuse are infinite in one way or another. I'd say that one way I am still self-destructive is through negative self-talk which beats me up mentally. I'm working on it. Love and Light, Lynn