LB, it's not all or nothing. You use a lot of strong words: psycho, burned, torture, delusional, desperate, suffering. Wow! That's scary stuff. You do not need externals for validations. You need to find a way to give yourself credit without seeking it from others. Because from others, it is just a matter of opinion! What if THEY are delusional? What if THEY were the ones who have been psycho all these years and you are the one who is sane? Those profiles and evaluations and reviews are mechanized capitalistic pieces of crap ordained as instruments to make humans perform as robots. It's the process that matters. If you write because you enjoy writing, then that is what is important. Try "The Artist's Way" and"The Right to Write" by Julia Cameron. Read some books about connection to your intuition and insight. Your opinion is the only one that matters, and it's time you get in touch with YOU! Validate yourself, dear friend. I'm for YOU! Jackie, your last line about rejection is excellent! Remind me of that the next time I get a rejection slip, okay?