Lillian, this is a great place for you to open up and share. Thank you so much for doing so. I do know how you feel.

Having grandiose images of ourselves and our actions is part of BP. Coming to terms with that and recognizing it is a huge step for you and you should be commended for it.

I too have grandiose images and great dreams of what future brings. There's nothing wrong with having a dream and goals. It's when they overcome us that we tend to get out of control.

My dream is to write women's fiction. Now and forever. And to grow my readership. Will I ever become a best seller? Wouldn't that be grand!! Am I obsessed with becoming a best seller? No, I think I'm more in control of that aspect of my life. But, I do have dreams!

I'm on Risperdal as well, 2 mg every night. Along with 120 mg of Cymbalta and 300 mg of Wellbutrin and 1 mg of Ativan. I'm very grateful for these medications to help maintain my balance. Without them I'd be an angry lost soul, bouncing from project to project, totally uncontrollable.

Thank you for sharing. Dianne is right. You are very brave.