I would think so Dotsie.

Dreamer,

I often find that my daughter is impatient and intolerant with me. It has ever been thus, although she has mellowed as she gets older. However, there are still time when I'm convinced she thinks I'm the stupidest person on earth. Mostly, I try to ignore her when she's in one of her moods --- which is easy to do since she lives in another state.

I've never seemed to have these issues with my son, and he's every bit as strong-willed as his sister. Go figure.

Jackie

Hi Ladies!
My mom is 51 and I'm 33....she had me at 17 and I think that is a lot of our problem.

I'm an opinionated one, as well.

Someone mentioned calling on the phone to stay in touch. My mom rarely calls me and I get upset by that. She's too busy with her job and 38 yr. old fiance.
Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled she's finally happy in a relationship.
BUT, (always that BUT), sometimes I would love to have Beaver Cleaver's mom!

We always seem to want what we don't have!

Stacy, I find your comment about Beaver Cleaver's mom cute. I lovfed that show. It was the only show I watched as a kid.

Do you call your mom?

NHJackie, there was a period of time that I told my oldest son that he should end every reply to me with, "you stupid idiot." He would answer my questions in a rotten tone that implied I was an idiot. It was during the high school years. I guess these comments can't be based on sex. I think it depends on the child.

Dotsie!
Having 3 sons, and 5 grandsons and 1 granddaughter now, here here to your statement of "these comments can't be based on sex. I think it depends on the child." My 3 sons are all total different in personalities, but alike in certain ways. So are my grand kids!

What a wonderful topic, Dreamer!

My daughter and I have had our ups and downs, but we've always been close (closer than my mom and I ever were) and having a loving relationship - to the max, I think. It's funny you should bring this up because I have some articles coming up on the Co-abode.org blog that address this very issue. In expressing my feelings on the subject, I found some personal insights about mother/daughter relationships that presented themselves as a sudden ephiphany. When the blog is 'up' I will share all of that with you. Meanwhile, great topic - and thanks!

Erica

My mom is 85 and still working full time and loves her job. I am 65 and wish I had half her energy. I never disagree with mom but my ideas differ on some things, and we agree to disagree. I think she thinks in extremely modern terms because she works in an office surrounded by all younger women, some in their 20's and todays ideas are passed on to her. I too have two grown sons, no daughters but my DIL of 17 years has been like a daughter to me.

[ October 18, 2005, 04:49 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

I have FOUR daughters......ages 22, 18, 14 and 12. Each one of them being so different in personality.

I would love to direct them to a forum where they can bounce ideas, comments and questions off of each other.

They can scoot around the computer better than I can!

Teresa :-)

I'm looking forward to reading what you wrote. Right now my daughter and I seem to be on really good terms - again. Little things irritate her and she blows them out of proportion and I seem to be at the receiving end of her anger no matter who or what started it. I'm pretty sure part of it is because MY mother is very difficult - very high maintenance - and my daughter is expecting me to be like my mother. She has told me as much. Meanwhile, I am diligent in trying NOT to be like her (except in the good ways) - my mother irritates me and hurts my feelings...but I don't fight with her because I'm just not a fighter. When my Dad was alive, he was the buffer. In the 18 months since we lost him I found it better to move to a different state - Mom and I do ok if I call her every day....however, my daughter wants her 'space' and her 'independence' so she told me I was to call her no more than once a week.....

Three weeks ago I got a letter from her stating she no longer had room for me in her life - I was beyond devastated and shocked. If anyone wants to hear about that, let me know. My stories tend to get long!

Oh my God, Dreamer, that is so sad. I think you just need to give her the space and wait till she gets beyond this present stage. It will change. She will, hopefully, grow. She is probably also reacting to the loss of your dad. Maybe you should make clear to your daughter that you have no expectation of being like your own mother. If not, I'm sure your daughter will eventually figure that our on her own. It's so tough, I know - and I do sympathize with you. Hang in there, she will come around.

Erica