I am the first baby boomer-born January 1st, 1946. I am new here. I'm pushing 60 and have arthritis. I am overweight, but tall. I moved to New York from North Carolina where my husband and I lived 30 years plus. He was laid off and got a job in Manhattan. We live on Long Island for two years now. My brother passed away this year from cancer. I have one brother left. He is younger than me. It is a big adjustment living here. Cathy R.

Welcome First baby boomer, you'll make a new home here in no time with no adjustment necessary...

Welcome Cathy,

Grab your favorite beverage, and settle in with the sisters. Warning, this site is VERY addictive!

hugs,
danita

First Baby Boomer! What a distinction! Welcome to a really great website.

Sorry about the loss of your brother, and your arthritis. I have arthritis too My Mom lives on LI.

Cathy, how wonderful to have you here. And such an honor to have the First Baby Boomer! We are so happy you have joined us. I too am so sorry to hear about yoru brother passing. I know you must miss him terribly. Bless your heart.

And moving from North Carolina to NY! Good gravy! Do people ask you to "talk" for them all the time? I've been told over and over that people from NC sound just like people from Alabama. If I'm not mistaken, we have someone on here who moved from NY to NC...or was that SC...hmm...not sure. Either way, I'm sure it has been a culture shock for all of you involved. Many nice things can be said for all these places.

Welcome, and I hope you will make this your extended home.

JJ

Welcome Cathy! Indeed you are one of the very first baby boomers to grace the world's stage and we are glad you found your way to our little home here in cyberspace. It must be quite an adjustment to go from NC to Manhattan! We will look forward to learning more about you here - hopefully you will visit often and find some topics that interest you....lots of very supportive and wonderful ladies here. So happy you have joined us.

Welcome First baby boomer Lady! OOO That sounds so offical! I love it. You had quite a culture shock; I know because I moved from Texas, 10 yrs ago, to Ohio. I am used to it now, but it did take a year or so + all my family and friends are still in TX. This is a great place and the discussions are wonderful, and the women so inviting and understanding! I think you are going to love it!

jawjaw,
At functions, people are always asking me to say Ya'll, again, or over yonder! LOL

I hear ya Junebug... I finally have to explain to our Northern friends that we Southerners make two syllables out of every word, whether it needs it or not.

JJ

Thanks you all. Actually we are both from New York, but lived in NC 35 years. The people here are rude, give bad service, the weather is bad here in the winter, the cost of living and houses must be the highest in the USA. Houses are old and need many repairs. And it is a very stupid place to live, compared to North Carolina. Someday we hope to escape and head back South. Cathy

Wow, what a great screen name and claim to fame. That is so fun.

Talk about culture shock! Have you found anything you like about NY? So you hubby got a job in Manhattan? I was just there a couple weeks ago. To me, NY was better than ever. Defintiely a big difference since 9-11.

Welcome First Baby,
I made the reverse move that you did. We left Long Island for NC about a year and a half ago. We love NC. But I miss many things about the island.

Dotsie,
Glad you enjoyed the city but living in NY is way different than visiting there.

To be honest if it weren't so expensive I might consider going back, but what I'd really love is to be able to have homes in both places. That would be perfection!

Welcome. What a big change for you. We used to go to Manhattan once a month and it's very different. Rude, rude, rude people! I had to become pushy myself at times. They seemed to understand that!

So glad you've joined us.

Welcome First Baby Boomer!

You know, I spent the first 38 years of my life in and around Chicago ('cept for a brief stint in Montana) then moved to North Dakota ! Culture shock in the reverse. Well, today it would take a mighty force to get me back to Chicago, so take heart and think "home is where you make it"!

I'm all the way out in Idaho now, just keep going west - not a young man either.

Searcher

Hi Cathy,

I'll be hitting the big 60 in April, so you have me beat by 3 months.

I've been a New Englander all my life, born and raised in MA, then moved up here to NH almost 30 years ago. I raised my children here, then they both left. They live in NY now and love it there, although I'm not sure I would.

Welcome to the group. I'm very new, but it seems like a good one.

Welcome to BWS, First Baby Boomer.

Things I like about New York are my brother is close by. The roads are actually plowed here, unlike in North Carolina! More to do -restaurants, movies, horse racing. Fall and spring. Things I hate. Crime-someone broke into our shed and stole our weedwacker!.. We never had any break ins in North Carolina! My husband was hit by a car here! Fortunately, the driver was making a turn, so he walked away from it ok. Trying to find good products in stores. I bought a new vacuum that had to be repaired! My husband bought a new weedwacker that he had to return, as it was no good. Wouldn't start! Trying to get good service here. People quit, are fired or leave early. People just not doing there jobs! Cathy R.

My cousin moved from Long Island to South Carolina & is putting her house up for sale after only 2 years.
She is planning to come back because she can't find a decent job. She can't believe the way companies are run down there! It boggles her mind that the people are more rude than they were in NY!!!
I have lived on Long Island all my life--& I'm slightly insulted!!! NOT ALL OF US ARE RUDE AND OBNOXIOUS!!! 99% are!!!
I would love to move from here...Long Island is becoming the new NYC---way too crowded & the middle class is getting left behind.
My brother actually pays more for water & electric in Ohio than we do. The taxes are outrageous in NY--but somehow things balance out unless you move to the middle of nowhere--population 100!!!
NYC is a different experience than Long Island...
I am not fond of the city!!! And I only went to the Statue of Liberty afew years ago!!!
The one thing I would miss most desperately if we left NY...THE FOOD!!! The bagels...pizza...the baked goods...deli's.....diners.....food!!!
Welcome by the way!!!
Kay...the 1% non rude Long Islander!!!

Welcome, First Baby Boomer! I'm not too far behind you in age and am having a hard time with the number because I feel much younger and see myself as younger in my mind....but looking in the mirror tells a different story!

You'll really love it here - it's so easy to talk about anything and people actually listen and respond. What a wonderful place!

Kay B -
It's interesting and funny to hear about your cousin. We moved to SC from Denver where I'd lived for 36 years! It takes a lot of getting used to - but it's getting better. I miss all the conveniences in Denver - the grocery stores, the shopping and the change of seasons. But when we go back now it is way too congested - too much traffic - it has become a huge, somewhat impersonal, city, much like LA or NY.

I agree that it's hard to find a job here - I'd love to find a part time job but have had no luck; I'm not ready for retirement and find I waste a lot of time and gained some weight which I am fighting to get rid of. It seems to like me, though, and won't let go.

Where in SC does your counsin live?

Dreamer

Kay, you made a very good point. I've heard both sides, and from many a traveler and I think people are people. I'm sure no one meant to insult you, AT ALL! I'm sure of it.

And I'm sure the hustle bustle associated with the fast pace f NY can make others, like ME for instance, think they are being rude when maybe they are just in a hurry? Only a guess. I know down here in the South we periodically check each other's breathing, just to make sure we're still alive. Talk about laid back!

Isn't it great how we boomers can all bring a different perspective to the table? Good for you all, I say! Its nice to hear the pros and cons, of ALL places. And we love you each and every one (as Tiny Tim would say...)

JJ

Kay, I lived in NY for 45 years and now live in a small town in CO. The only thing I DO miss is the pizza, bagels, jewish deli's, etc!!! The taxes in NY were outrageous and where we lived was also becoming like NYC, which is why we moved. The traffic was horrendous and though my husband made much more money there, we had to spend it all for the privilege of sitting in traffic and putting up with some nasty people.
If CO could figure out how to make a decent pizza and bagel, this would be heaven on earth!

My cousin lives in Inman, SC. She has had one heck of a time getting a decent job. She was working for a temp agency & may go back to that soon. This last job she has....her boss loves her & she got a promotion soon after joining them.
But the people there...we joke about people being rude as sin in NY.... The job she had before this one...was a temp job. But it was exactly what she was doing in NY & they didn't have to train her at all. In fact they had to keep coming up with things for her to do!!! They didn't hire her after her temp time was up. Instead they let her go & are still looking for someone to do that exact job!!! She's regretting moving to SC & leaving all the comfort food behind!!

I wasn't insulted at all about us NYer's being rude & obnoxious! THEY ARE!!! But I'm not! Well......depending on the day!!! Haha

Truthfully, the only good thing about NY these days is the food!

Speaking of food...I saw on tv that they re-opened Cafe Du Monde in the French Quarter today. Oh yummy!!! Begnets!! MMMMMM!!!

Kay, I'm going to email you. My son is going to look at Hofstra. Mind teling us where to stay when we come to visit the school? Sorry, a little off topic.

I am so happy to hear Cafe Du Monde opened. What great news. New Orleans is coming back to life. My son is traveling there this weekend to film a documentary for his college portfolio. I have a sister who lives there.

On my most recent trip to NY I didn't encounter one rude person. Everyone was so friendly and nice. Honest. I was impressed.

I continue to be amazed at how much boomers have moved through the years. I'm going to start a post in the Travel forum to see if anyone lives in the town where they were raised.

KayB and W.B. if its food you want then come on down to Vegas. The bagels are as good as if not better than in NY and the pizza, my goodness we have every kind imagineable, deep, chicago style, thin crust, NY slice pizza and of course at least 100 authentic Italian style pizzas. There are jewish delis galore, with authentic baked breads. The yellow pages here are 15 thick with foods alone and thats not counting the Casinos. Burp!!!!

Thanks for the info, Chatty! I think I can get to Vegas in about 8 hours! My 20 year old wants to move there...Maybe I'll encourage him!

Tell him to call me when and if he does if he needs anything, I'll keep an eye on him if he'd like that, he'll never be hungry in any case...

That is so sweet of you! He's a skinny guy, maybe you can fatten him up a little.

Chatty, we have some good friends heading to your town today. They are celebrating a 50th birthday by bringing the whole family to Vegas. We were invited, but couldn't swing it right now due to all the college traveling. My son wants to go for his 21st birthday, but I'm not sure that will happen wither. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Hi , I'm new in this forum. Don't know if my topic is aceptable but I'm going through a rough time in my relationship right now and feel so alone in this foreign country. I am so unhappy and depressed in this relationship but i do not want to give it up just yet.. my partner cheated on me and i feel so betrayed after all the sacrifices I felt I have done for "us" by leaving everyone i know and love to be in this country with him. I come from a conservative family background where staying with partners before marriage is taboo. I think I've broken every possible rule and custom there is in my society to be with him only to find out that this is how he repays my sacrfices. I'm devastated. He tells me that he wants to be with me still, that it is a moment of weakness but i cannot help but become suspicious ( which I never was before this!) about him sneaking behind my back. I want to work this out but it is so hard i cannot help but cry everyday. I cannot tell him because he will get defensive and that's not what I want.I want to work this out but don't know how to not constantly be in this depressive mood. I spend most nights alone because he works, so that worsens it even more. I do not have the courage to walk away because I love him too much. There is nothing worse than being lied to, nothing more damaging to a relationship than when your partner lies to you. I do not know if i can ever trust him again but I want to.

Trust is something that is earned and proven. It sounds like you are putting all of the burden for what he's done on yourself, which I'm sure he understands completely. That way, you have to change and he doesn't.

Do you have a close friend you can talk to? Can you go to a therapist or a group counseling session? I think it would help you a lot and you'll be able to clarify your true emotions.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I really am.

Nienna,

Bless your heart, sounds as if your having a real hard time right now. It's time for your husband to love and care about you the way...you love and care for him.
How long have you been married? Is he from the same country as you?

Like Dianne says, it takes time to earn trust, it shows through actions. It is not earned overnight.
Cheating, shows he is not worthy of the trust.
Actions.... speak louder than words.

You need to find a support group, marriage counselor, therapist...or a close friend to talk
to. Is your husband willing to go to a marriage counselor? If, not that will tell you something all of it's self.
Turn to your faith... find a church of like faith. Meet people move forward.

Have you spoken to your family? Seems like now might be a good time, for a visit home. Support and love your family provides, would provide you time to put all this into prospective.
Just don't sit there, and continue on with what you are feeling right now.

Ladies, on this forum are really helpful in their replies. Most replies are from experience and the heart.

I pray God gives you the strength and courage to move forward.

Brenda

Nienna,

I am so sorry that you are in this position right now. I can't imagine what you must be feeling, so distant from your family and friends. And then to be in a different country where values might be contrary to your upbringing. You must feel so terribly alone...

You have come to a good place, where the women are eager to help as much as they can...Is there anyone at all to whom you could talk ? Someone from your own country? And like Brenda said, someone of your own faith? Or do you feel you have "broken" too many rules? I am thinking that you could contact ANY church nearby, and they might have the rescoures to put you in touch with someone who could help. It's good to talk to us, but we can't replace a flesh and blood, face to face person. One who could actually touch you to give you courage.....

I will be thinking of you...

Searcher

Nienna, sorry to hear about what you're going through. I'm in agreement with the other ladies. I hope you'll seek out someone to talk with. Is ther a language barrier?