I bought the book, Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them. I'll let you know if it's any good.

Dreamer, I enjoy reading your story. Your proof that their is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I am so sorry for what you and your children had to endure with your first husband. You poor things. But I am so grateful you have found true love. Carry on dear woman...

Years ago I read a book about what normal is, because I honestly didn't know. Really, it was more about what is abusive or unhealthy behavior because we all know normal is a relative term.

I'll have to find your book Dotsie.

Daisygirl

Dotsie,
I will check that book out at Borders. There is one I really like , that I finished reading . "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart . It is a small book . The author is Gordon Livingston,MD a writer and doctor from here where we live .

Dotsie , who is the author of that book?

[ January 20, 2006, 10:05 PM: Message edited by: Renee ]

John Ortberg is the author. I bought it, but haven't gotten to it yet.

Guess I'll just jump right in. I'm a 56 yr. old widow. Husband died 10/01,MIL died 11/01, SIL died 1/02, dad died 2/02, etc. X 15. I'm still in shock over all the losses. Haven't had a paying job since 03 & my money pool is getting VERY shallow. I have NO idea what I want to do for the rest of my life. I've been a caregiver for 40 years. I am now a lost soul. I'm thinking of selling my home of 40 years & moving to Kentucky to be near a cousin & other family. My 27 yr. old son (dyslexic) hates the idea. I'm sorry if I'm rambling but I have so much to deal with I'm not sure where to start.Can anyone suggest any ideas as to how to begin this rebirth? HELP!

First of all WELCOME friend to the home of the Boomers. I see in your posts such turmoil from loss. It seems to me 'everything new' might be the best answer for you. Selling the home, moving to a new fresh and lovely area near family and friends. Making new friends, maybe getting a new job and an interest in new things outdide the home. It seems to me you have no where to go but UP! Do not let your son or anyone else hold you back. This is your time for life having been a caregiver for all those years. Many of our ladies here have written marvelous books on just this subject and I am hoping they might jump in and share the titles so you too can read them and see how 56 can be the beginning. Good luck and hey, you'll love it here.

Hi Sugarbabe...

Sorry to hear of all the loses you have endured.
Sounds as if your ready to move forward and not sure which way to turn yet.
Think we have all be there at one time or another.

Glad, to hear you are wanting to be closer to family...your son probably wouldn't like the idea of mom not being around, that's normal.
But, you have to do what is going to make sugarbabe happy...not everyone else.
It will give your son a spot to vacation and visit mom.

Do what you want to do... you've earned that right.
Want a part-time job, get one. Like to volunteer, go for it. Want to move...find the packing boxes.
Ask yourself what you like to do...and do it, the best you know how. One foot in front of the other and moving.

Your lost no longer, you have a home now...right here.

Welcome.

Sugarbabe,your rebirth began when you 'jumped right in' and started writing. I can't tell you how much this place has helped me. New beginnings are very theraputic, and you made a good start by coming here.

My first husband committed suicide shortly after my present husband and I married. (I stayed in touch with him almost daily from the time he finally moved out until just before he died - took him food - it's a long story, and my new husband was wonderful, supportive and understanding - the suicide was devastating to me.) I couldn't bear to be in the city where I'd spent 34 years living with him, loving him, and being unable to do enough to make him happy. Even though my Dad (I'm an only child) was suffering from a tragic and rare terminal illness, my dear second husband and I moved from Denver, CO to Seneca, SC - I sold my house (my dream home - I still miss the structure, but not the memories)left my Mom and my sick Dad, my daughter, son-in-law and then 2 year old grandson - and we moved. We moved in September and my Dad died December 11 (2003). I flew back and forth twice, then flew to Denver a 3rd time and spent the last 5 weeks of my Dad's live living in my parents' home with them to help. But after all that I was able to come back here and begin to get well. I don't think I could have made it if we'd stayed in Denver. So from my experience, I urge and encourage you to start over in a new place - you have all of us behind you now, and we will always be here for you.

I will be most happy - even honored - to talk you through it. I honestly think it is the only way to come to terms with things. It still hurts, and you never forget, but you are able to gain a new perspective, re-discover yourself and each day find something, no matter how small, to keep you going.

Dotsie, thank you so much for your kind words and understanding - that means so much.

Sugarbabe, you are a strong, intelligent woman and there is nothing you cannot do!

Dreamer

To chattylady,yepthatsme2 & dreamer I just want to thank you all for the words of encouragement you sent my way. I needed those words today most of all. I worked for a bank for 5 yrs and balanced on a daily basis. Today is the 8th day of trying & I can't even balance my checkbook. Lord, do I feel stupid. I know I'm not but I feel it. Somedays are better than others.
As John Denver said in one of his songs;
"Some days are diamonds; some days are stones."
I think today is a stone day. Looking for the diamonds to come my way.

Can't speak for everyone else but, I have my share of "stone days".
As far as the checkbook goes, I use the duplicate checks, and online banking. Have to find all the tools I can...otherwise I wouldn't come any where close to balancing.
Most trouble I have is when hubby doesn't write his bank credit card purchase's down.
Glad to see you back.

Yep