Dear all ,
These are all very calm and caring ideas and should work -- if Sally is reasonable about it all. I will definitely pass this along to my sis. Right now, she's feeling like a terrible mother for not pulling through, and for possibly just having failed to educated her daughter in some fundamental way.

I have always very much admired this young lady (Sally) for her strength and originality, and fearlessness in her life, and was frankly quite shocked that she has been behaving this way! It's _so_ hard on her mom who's beating herself up, wondering where she went wrong as a parent.

I especially like what Edelweiss said: "No way should she ever plead with her daughter. Jane is the mother, and should never allow her daughter to put her into such a demeaning state." This is a very key point. I think moms sometimes lose sight of their role -- they often become forgetful that they have a right to dignity as well! I guess at a certain point in a parent's life, they think, hey, my kid's an adult and should deal as an adult. As I said, Jane is wracking her brain, wondering how she could've raised such a daughter. And I wonder too, having watched my niece grow up.

Do you think that generation, the gen-xers, are just very different from Boomers? Do they expect the world to be a rose garden all the time, and everyone's a winner? or what? I've been hearing that some college kids today think it's beneath themselves to take on entry-level minimum wage jobs -- helloooo? haven't they seen the shambles the economy is in? Do they think life is like tv sitcoms? It's really baffling.