Interesting discussion you are opening up, Orchid.
I have no personal experience, in that I was conceived by my parents and I've grown up knowing both of them -- and my own children were conceived in the traditional way.
However, my mother is adopted and I have seen her struggle with identity issues for much of my life. Her adoptive parents were well-off financially, but she grew up with a lot of physical (sexual) and emotional abuse -- and even at age 80 she still struggles with issues related to these challenges.
When I was in my teens she told me that she had come to the PERSONAL conclusion that adoption should be allowed. I don't know for sure if she still believes this, but at that time, she told me that it was her opinion that if a couple could not conceive, it was likely God's will that they did not have children. And that we humans should not attempt to subvert God's intentions.
I was a regular baby sitter for two adopted children at that time, and I had a hard time with her philosophy. It seemed to me that the two kids I regularly sat for were enjoying a good life in a family that cared for them and was providing a good life for them. Which certainly seemed better than having them live in a "facility" such as an orphanage.
Later, as she aged, my mother sought out medical history-type information about her birth parents, in an attempt to understand some of the health situations she was experiencing -- and I could certainly recognize that she really ought to to have access to these medical records.
Unfortunately, as you mentioned in your current news cases, she discovered that the adoption agency no longer maintained records on her -- there is no information available to her as to who her birth parents were.
All she knows is that her mother was unwed -- she learned that from her adoptive mother when she was in her 40s. (THAT knowledge in itself was extremely hard on her emotionally. My grandmother (her adoptive mother) told to her right after her adoptive father's death.
Specifically, my grandmother called her on the phone and told her that she had located her original birth certificate among my grandfather's personal papers, and that it indicated that she was a "bastard."
As a 17 year old, I was amused at the news, but it put my mother into a depression that lasted for years.
So I am inclined to agree with you, Orchid:
- Children conceived by parents who are not married deserve the same quality of upbringing as any other child.
- Children conceived out of wedlock deserve to know their health histories
- Men who donated sperm to a sperm bank for use other then by their own wives - and with expectations of having their identity remain undisclosed - deserve the right to remain anonymous.
I'd love to hear thoughts from people here who have more direct experience than I do, however.
Anne