I had a very interesting day today. My son called me all depressed. I still see him on a regular basis but am trying to get him to stand on his own two feet as I have bailed him out, helped him financially, emotionally etc. for years and don’t want to keep being an enabler. It is working out quite good. He has been to treatment centres three times in the past year and seems to be off the heavy drugs but now drinks too much. He has found a girlfriend and called me because he was upset and depressed, lonely because she wanted to go out with her friends. My son is 20 (a very immature 20) and she is 16 going on 17. He is upset that she does not want to spend every waking minute with him. In my trying to be supportive the advice I gave him is advice I need to give myself. At this time in his life, because of his past and because he needs to be kept
distracted, he is feeding off her and not getting a life himself. His girlfriend works, goes to school, takes dance lessons and goes out with her friends. A normal teenager. He does nothing but party at the moment.
Has no interests, got fired from his job and does not go to school. Unfortunatly because he has severe ADD and addiction issues he has very low self esteem. In my reaching out to him and trying to help him to realise that he should have more interests than just his girlfriend, I realised that most of what I do is work and go home. I need to develop other interests too. After telling him that he needs to have outside interests, get busy and stop relying on his girlfriend to make him happy I realise that's what I need to do. Instead of staying home moping around the house wondering whats wrong with me I have quite a lot to work to do myself. A great way to beat lonliness is to help someone else beat it.
Recently I have been reconnecting with friends from the past but what I think I’m trying to do is reconnect with who I was back then because I have lost sight of who I am.
We are all subject to loneliness at any age. It strikes when we’re not looking and when we are in the middle of the pain we think it will last forever. But, we hold the key. That said everyone needs support and this is a wonderful place to connect with like minded women who can offer support prayers and a shoulder to cry on. We are here for each other and what a wonderful blessing that is.
Eagle Heart, you don’t have to apologise for writing more in Chatty Lady's direction than directly to me. I am glad that you reached out to her as she needs support too. I am just glad that this topic came up for me as it has allowed us to reach out to others and be there for them.
Overthehillchick, your comments are well taken and appreciated. Sometimes instead of wallowing in our feelings of loneliness and disappear it is necessary to get totally involved in something that leaves us little time to get
lonely.
I have taken out the paints, I will do some painting tonight. And that is a wonder full suggestion Dee to paint no matter what, even if I have to paint the pain. Thanks.