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#179546 - 04/07/09 04:12 PM
Re: How Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: Dotsie]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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I wanted to share with you that a friend of mine is a rower. She and her husbnad just rowed across Florida with a group of rowing friends. She said it was magnificant. Another way to get around and get good exercise! Sounds awesome. Wonder if they had to avoid alligators down there.
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#179734 - 04/09/09 08:35 AM
Re: How Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: jabber]
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Founder
Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
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#186229 - 07/09/09 02:27 PM
Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: yonuh]
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Registered: 07/09/09
Posts: 6
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I just joined this site and have been reading responses to this topic. I have been married for 44 years. Hubby and I are pretty opposite. He is one of 12 (in town) and I am an only child.He is Italian Catholic, I am protestant yankee. He is a golfer. What was I thinking? I know what I was thinking. He seemed so down when we dated and I felt I could bring him some sunshine and lighten him up..again what was I thinking? We're at the point now where we, go to bed at different times, and sleep in different rooms. He's cold I'm hot. We both snore (ha).
We have two grown, independant kids with grandkids all nearby. Grandkids are 5 y.o and under. Two boys 5 y.o. girl 2. I lost my job about 1 year ago and have lost my life(identity) ever since. I miss the co-workers, and the income. I have tried to find volunteer work to fill the void. I've always worked usually 30 miles from home so to meet with the old friends has to be planned weeks ahead. I know I have many many blessings and I'm truly thankful. I've learned from my girlfriends, that retirement just isn't what we expected. Maybe it was subconscious, but Our men are not that much interested in doing what we want to do. They don't have the enthusiam we'd hoped for. I've learned that my guy does more with me than some. I've tried to find volunteer work we can do together (Red cross) but the organization doesn't seem to have regular meetings etc. 30 years ago we belonged to a Square dance club, and went camping. I'm trying to stir the camping thing up again, but golf(his passion) would win out. We have a pool and the grandids enjoy that. To balance out my life wheel I need to reach out and find on-going things to fill the empty places. I belong to a womens barbershop chorus and enjoy that once a week. Women are always in transition. Thank goodness I have a pc. I'm always searching for self fullment. I hope I haven't abused my privilege here.
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#186232 - 07/09/09 02:57 PM
Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: jabber]
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Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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I'm a person who can self-entertain for ever. I read a lot, I paint,I can futz around the house all day happily. My husband isn't like that. He's more the type to rent movies, grab the clicker and watch TV, watch videos on Youtube... But In the 1990's he started bicycling with some guys. He had a great time, he rode with 2 coworkers and our son. I didn't care for rides over 5 miles, so when the coworkers moved away, and my son did too, my hubby, lost interest in riding because it wasn't as fun alone.. HE was sitting around, getting depressed, gaining weight. WE used to hike together but he has plantar fascitis, so THAT didn't work anymore. So one day I uncrossed my legs, sat up and said "You can train me to do the Seattle to Portland bike ride" . And he did. Of course he still rides circles around me, and does lots of rides that I will not do. Saturday he's going to do "Death Ride" - 5 mountain passes in California!
So I had to put aside my own prejudice (against cycling) to get us moving together again. Another thing we did at a point that it seemed our marriage was going south; was we sat down with a calendar and blacked out 1 weekend every month as "OUR WEEKEND" and we both did our best to fill in those weekends with NEW and different things to do. Two of the more memorable ones for me is; one day we went Kayaking! another day we decided to volunteer at a food bank. THAT was fun too! We certainly are not perfectly compatible, we fight about lots of stuff and disagree about things too. But as we are in our late 50's, I can honestly say, our relationship is getting better. The other day we looked at each other, and agreed, "I love our life, I feel like we're playing house!"
Edited by Madelaine (07/09/09 03:00 PM)
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#186233 - 07/09/09 03:02 PM
Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: Madelaine]
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Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 215
Loc: Pacific Northwest
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Chive, welcome to the forum!
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#186234 - 07/09/09 03:23 PM
Re: activities/hobbies with S.O.
[Re: Madelaine]
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Da Queen
Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
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Chive, welcome to the forums. I love how honest and open you are about things. Have you EVER come to the right place to hear wise words of widsom, such as what Madelaine has just given (and I'm sure others will as well), and to get sympathy, empathy, or just to unload. Sometimes troubles (is that too strong a word?) can see less burdensome when divided.
I've been divorced going on 17 years so while I can't relate to your situation firsthand, I can tell you that we need stimulation no matter what age, 40, 50, 60, and beyond. We need fun, we need to have outside interest, and passions. We still need to know that we matter. And it's just so much fun to learn something new, or explore activities we've always wanted to try but maybe work or raising a family prevented us from doing so.
I couldn't agree more with your desires for ACTION! It doesn't mean you have to jump off cliffs, what is it they call it? Or go swimming with dolphins, (although I would love to try it), but good grief....something! I hear ya! Same here.
I've taken a late interest in cooking. Although I am an author/writer/humorist/gabologist, by trade, I would LOVE to learn to cook something I've never cooked before....or maybe take painting/drawing lessons.
I so admire you for belonging to a barbershop chorus! Wow! I would love to do that as well.
Here's a thought...maybe you could check with your local junior college to see if they are offering any new classes that might interest you?
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