I knew if I posted here, I will find the comfort needed. For those of you who know me, know I do not like to be a downer. So when I am feeling down, I do not post here. But on the other hand, you always help me through.

Eagle, you pinpointed exactly what I could not explain. Yes, I miss the person terribly, but even more so the traditions. It's like I feel guilty for moving on. I feel like I dishonor his memory if I do. But I know my dad really well, and he would've wanted us to move on. In fact, I have been told time and again that we are actually doing our departed loved ones a disservice by grieving constantly.

The funny part is, I am not depressed, I am just feeling a little bit empty, like a part of me is gone.

Anne, thank you for sharing, I know it couldn't have been easy.

Lola, as always, you are the angel who comes to inspire. Yes, I do believe the time will heal. I have my work that keeps me busy and I am glad for it. I take the time to spend with myself, I do that more than I ever did before. I saw Zoey this past weekend, she is so big and delightful. I also discovered she likes the song Thriller by the late Michael Jackson. Every channel you turned, there was a tribute to him and everytime Thriller came on, she would stop and dance. Zoey loves to dance.

Edelweiss, I know you will enjoy the interview. She went through much worse than what I have gone through and still she managed to pull through. This interview is not a downer either, it really did help me prepare. I know I could've been worse off if I didn't prepare myself.

Anyway, I don't want to hold him back and I just need to learn how to let go. A friend of mine told me she finally did with her dad. Her dad passed away a couple of months before mine did. She said she saw him in a dream and he told her he was alright and she needed to let him go. I haven't had that experience and I really would like to. Just some kind of a sign I want to see from him. But I digress...

I love you all alot!

Cheers,
Cathi