Daisygirl...I hate to say this but I would say probably with lots of certainty that you or anyone other woman at this stage is not going to work out with this man with the picture painted as you state it.

A father needs to be willing to set boundaries and rules and consequences. I understand him trying to make up for lost time with his son...but, he isn't going to help things because he doesn't want to be the bad guy in his sons life. He's just now gotten his son back and he's going to bend the rules a lot and let things go that normally wouldn't happen.

You're not going to win here and resentment is going to build, if it hasn't already, and it's going to get worse instead of better...I'm not a fortune teller but my gut tells me that's the direction this would go based on what you've told us.

Have you considered backing off completely and seeing what happens?

When we care about someone so much it's hard to let go and allow things to fall where they may. You have to decide what you want, what you're willing to accept and if this is worth what you're going to have to go through to be in it.

No matter how great the rest of your relationship may be, if you're having this much trouble at this early stage...I'd say you're probably looking at what's down the road for you in this relationship...and it will probably get worse.

I hate to paint this kind of picture but your choices seem to be accept how things are and keep quiet about what his son does or risk more arguments, resentment and a broken heart.

Good luck, sweetheart!!