I'm sorry of the latest development Daisygirl. My comments below are more after reflections..

Quote:
Dee, one thing I'm very consious of is if I feel welcomed into his home. I was feeling very uncomfortable because I was spending too my time at his house - I was feeling homeless because I was a visitor most of the time. Both BF and son try very hard to make me feel welcomed. The son has told me he was glad I was spending time there and that I was with his dad.


I was intrigued by the above comment. I first knew my partner after his divorce when his children were 13 & 11. By a strange coincidence, I met my partner a few months after I bought my own home. But I made a clear decision that I wanted move forward to keep my home, pay mortgage myself, by NOT moving in with my partner. So I continued to live in my own home and he in his with children visiting in shared custody arrangements with his ex. Like you, Daisy, I spent alot of time at his place also but in no way, did I ever feel like a "visitor" or home adrift,...because I had my own home. He also visited me alot too.

It worked well, because he could parent ..and I chose not to become the "step-parent" to the children. In hindsight, it was the best scenario for us because my style of parenting probably would have been quite different from their mother's (which she was a good parent). So he and I lived in same city for ...13 years in our own homes. Then we eventually relocated together in the city where he and I live together now. By then, the children were adults living independently.

Each child became independent adult..but this was handled by each of their birth parents at each of the children's 2 homes.
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