dotsie
spending time alone with my God definitely helps...i am glade its that way for you dotsie, even though i am sure this is not new for you or in response to 2012 or some recent life sircumstanses.

i worrie so much about L, i worrie more about him sufferring in life and being without me than i do if i think of him being dead. Being deads just going home, IMO and one thats close to my hart, that i could cope with. The helplessness of an earthlie situasion pulls at all my control issues and maternal drives.

but gess what, over last lot of weeks it been a recurring theme so i gotta give it some attension, more than i have been in a positive way, ie les worrie.
Its about surrenderring again to this situasion, faith in a plann and the plan being perfect if i play or walk the right road in the leading or lead up to whatever situasion. Obviouslie being a mum this is a hard one and i am sure all mums everyweer felt it at one time or another.
he's got ghis road and i have mine, together at the moment but at some time they wil part or fork lol and even if we walk the same road we see and interprite diffrent things and experinses from it, we just sharring a pathway but being totalie diffrent within it. Iv to learn to let him even at his small age walk his path and i am onlie being a guide for him.