Got the call today. The senior home finally has a vacant room.
Thank God for my two sons and my Hubby to help move everything. I got to sort out mom's clothes from a 12 door closet to a two door one. OMG...that is the most stressfull part. And from now on, mom won't be driving anymore. What a relief. I just hope and pray she will meet some nice people at the home, who are at her level, and not in progressive demented stages. That is my biggest worry.

My heart goes out to you, Edelweiss. Please keep in mind all this day that this is day ONE. Adjustment will take time on your Mom's part and most definitely on yours. She is safe now. That is the most important thing. I'll be interested in hearing a report of sorts as the first days go by. Is she a social person by nature?

Thanks Ladyjane.

Honestly, I'm sitting here right now hating myself, because I got so impatient and angry at my mom today. I once mentioned that she has an addiction to junk mail. It is completely out of control. Her entire apartment is filled from top to bottom with boxes of mail, covered with her own comments. She promised me when she moves, that she will stop. Instead she has written these scam criminals and has given them her new address !!

I’m sure this is a sign of dementia. It's just that she is so normal with every other daily things. It's so hard to understand. She insists on continuing with this stuff.

Hubby says, - just let her do what she wants to do. I suppose he's right. It's just that her new room is small...just room for a bed and a couple of furniture pieces. Yes, Jane, my mom is social, but withdraws more and more because she needs the time to work on her mail. She attacks this stuff, as if her life depended on it. It is burdensome, but she can’t stop. And when I tell her to just simply stop, she hyperventilates and acts like she's about to get a heart attack.

Oh gosh...I just had to vent. Thanks for listening to this boring story.:(

Edelweiss,
It sounds like your Mom has a case of OCD with her mail.
It has been shown that the eldery react well to antidepressents. Has she ever tried one? If she tried an SSRI, it might cause her thinking to be more "sane," and she may see things a bit clearer.
I heard of this study at the hospital and ran it by my closest friend, a doctor of note. He said that many people should consider and antidepressent for thier parents when they are at this eldery stage where thier minds are going just a bit. It also can keep them calmer and help them think.

Just a thought.

This sounds very hard for you and I went through it very young when losing my mother. I remember the guilt, fear and all the feelings of hopelessness.

Please continue to post as you undertake this hard, hard situation.

She IS safe now, this is true. That is the most important thing. Now it's about making her as comfortable as possible.

Good luck and many of us are there for you.

Dancer

EW, would it help deal with the hoarding if you mentioned to your Mom that the home has rules about storage i.e. precautions because of fire hazards?

Oh my Gosh, Dancer, I read your post, and thought, why haven’t I thought of this myself?! Of course, it makes sense. Maybe my mother isn’t losing it; maybe she is suffering under OCD.
Tomorrow morning I will try to get a doctor’s appointment, and ask him to prescribe anti depressants. I hope you’re theory is right, because then she can be possibly helped. Thank you so much for this informative thought.

Lola,…my mother would got to the top authority at the senior home, and ask him if that was really a rule. She is still too clever, for me to be sneaky.

I feel so much better now. I think Dancer is onto something.

Edelweiss, one thing you can do is change your mothers adress to a P.O Box, if you don't want your own address involced, and you pick up her mail giving her only the items she needs, NOT wants...That will end your hording and possible dangerous situation from identity thieves... Also don't tell her the less she knows about it the better, and it is for her own good.

sounds like great advice, chatty.

Chatty, if I could; I would do that, but inorder to be allowed to do that, I have to get my Mom officially claimed as mentally unstable. That she isn't,...she just has this junk mail problem.
I have an apointment at the doctor tomorrow morning. Hopefully he can help her.

Edelweiss does your postal service scrutanize who is changing an address and why? Just get a change of address card and DO IT! You aren't committing a crime and she is your mother whom you care for. After all she is moving to a care facilitry is she not?
Maybe I am not understanding this situation completely.