We definitely have occasional issues in my immediate family and with sibs. Here's what I'm trying to do. I'm working hard at setting boundaries. I'm not picking up a problem that I don't want or own. I'm not trying to be the fixer, connecter, caregiver, person who is always trying to make everything right for everyone. How exhausting. I'm letting others do it, and it's working.

Example: I didn't want to be the one to organize Dad's daily care. I'm happy to help, but I've been the family organizer, party planner, gatherer, etc for years. I don't mind that, but I didn't want to pick up the organizer of Dad's care. The miraculous thing is that another sister picked it up and she's fantastic at it. I so appreciate her weekly emails with the days broken out and spots to sign up. It's beautiful. She tells us the days he has doctor appointments and other goings on that need to be tended to.

And to think that I could have very easily picked that up and would be doing it (and probably not as well) is eye opening.

Why do we have to do it all when there are others who can help just as easily, and probably want to, but maybe we haven't let them?

I don't know if this is a good example that you can relate to, but it's the first one that came to mind.

Another thing I'm trying to do is not perpetuate the negative talk, and it ain't easy.

I don't know if you know people who have the attitude that life's a bitch and then you die. I don't believe it at all, but I have a habit of jumping on a bandwagon when someone's complaining. Sometimes I add crap so they think they aren't the only one who has something rotten going on.

I'd rather focus on the positive because there is so much to be grateful for regarless of the situation. I find myself sounding like a Pollyanna and switch gears to join in others misery, when really if they had a different attitude, life ain't all that bad. You just have to look for the grace.

EW, have you considered taking off by yourself for a couple days of fun and sun, soaking it up, and coming back revitalized and better able to face the negative people? It might work.

Just remember, you aren't alone. That's for sure.