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#169268 - 12/28/08 08:34 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: Dotsie]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Ouch, Anne, it sounds like you've been hurt or betrayed in some way. Invading privacy, hmm, that is betrayal. I'm sorry to hear this.
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#169367 - 12/29/08 04:09 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: Princess Lenora]
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Member
Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
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Chatty, I thought about your posts while I was walking today. Specifically, about the age differences in dating/marriage. I am sorry that you have endured multiple losses. It seems, though, that you also celebrate the good years. The movie "Benjamin Button" causes the viewer to think about age differences in relationships. There are soul mates on every age level, some younger, some older, some fated to be together for a life-time, some passing through to make a difference to each other in a moment in time. And, soul mate does not necessarily mean "lovers" in our romantic sense of the word. While it's true that I married an older man (chronologically speaking, otherwise he had the intelligence of a gnat, and so did I at the time) I don't think every age difference relationship is about neurotic needs. Just a note...
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#169489 - 12/30/08 08:01 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Registered: 01/21/07
Posts: 3675
Loc: British Columbia, Canada
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Chatty: Do you think he will leave if you ask him if time arises that he can no longer contribute to the household financially?
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#169623 - 12/31/08 06:58 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: chatty lady]
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Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 676
Loc: Wauconda, IL
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OK, so maybe this sounds cold...and since when did his inability become your problem Ms Amazing Chatty?
I don't mean to sound hateful or cold AND he is not your responsibility. HE is his responsibility.
I am all for caring and generosity AND I believe there is a balance that must be struck between tearing oneself to shreds for the sake of another and insisting on the other person standing responsible for themselves.
If he were your partner, husband, child or some other such relationship...or even a friend whom you chose to help...I would think differently.
_________________________
Love and light, hugs and blessings MamaRed (Jerilynne) www.mamaredspeaks.com www.onemillionacts.comComing Summer 2009 "Kick-Butt Kindness: 52 No Cost Ways to Ripple Kindness 'Round the World" Let's create Kick-Butt-and-Take-Names Lives!
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#169762 - 01/02/09 01:51 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: Mama Red]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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Chatty...I know you have a big heart...we've all been the recipient of it and are so lucky to have you in our lives...and I hope that you know we love you, too, and in doing so I feel the need now to hyperally kick your bootie!!!
Have you lost your mind? This man knew he could play you and knew how from years of being married to you. He knew you'd cave in and you did. I'd be willing to bet that you put up with his unreasonable behavior and excuses for a very long time before you got the courage to change things. So, why, now...would you want to go back to that? Chatty...read what I'm about to type several times...
NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION NO ONE CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION (REPEAT IT OVER UNTIL THIS SINKS IN).
Now, go bang your head against the wall until the crap that this man continues to feed you falls out.
When you come to your senses...throw his stuff out on the curb, close the door and don't look back.
YOU are not his problem. YOU did not cause this. YOU did not deserve this. YOU are not responsible for 'raising' your ex. YOU hopefully will stop being an enabler for this man to continue using you as a crutch for his doing nothing.
Okay...I'm pretty certain you're not going to speak to me for quite some time (if ever) but geez lueez, woman!!!! Wake up!!! I care so much about you and have read how you've come through so much in your life...to hear now that you're jumpy every second in YOUR OWN HOME...what's wrong with this picture? Your EX is there....that's what's wrong. Boot his butt out and let him figure it out...that's what being an adult means. What...he expect you to come up with all the answers? You're not his mama...you're not even his wife...you're CHATTY!!! A woman with a backbone, not a doormat...don't be this man's doorman again...he knew you would be and expected it and yep...there you are...Chatty Chatty CHATTY!!!!
Now...IF you're not too mad at me, then close your eyes...put your arms around yourself, hug really hard and know that's from me...someone who cares a lot about you and who doesn't want to see you do this to yourself. Again...no one can take advantage of you without your permission...stop giving him permission and he'll go away and find someone else to feel guilty about his situation.
_________________________
Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#169768 - 01/02/09 02:49 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: Dee]
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Registered: 08/12/08
Posts: 676
Loc: Wauconda, IL
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Go Dee...you wrote what I was too chicken to write!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chatty...know we're doing this because we da*** well don't like seeing you taken advantage of!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_________________________
Love and light, hugs and blessings MamaRed (Jerilynne) www.mamaredspeaks.com www.onemillionacts.comComing Summer 2009 "Kick-Butt Kindness: 52 No Cost Ways to Ripple Kindness 'Round the World" Let's create Kick-Butt-and-Take-Names Lives!
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#169772 - 01/02/09 03:46 PM
Re: Marriage differences...
[Re: Mama Red]
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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Mama Red...chatty knows I love her...and that I speak from my heart...and size 7 1/2 foot. I would expect her to do the same for me, too.
_________________________
Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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