I think that we all need to learn things the hard way because we surely don't learn the easy way, do we? And some people NEVER learn!I don't really think there are mistakes -- only lessons. It's only a mistake if you don't learn the lesson.

To 'keyholes' I want to say that since most of us don't listen to people's advice and only learn through pain, all is not lost with your daughter. At some stage she will probably reach that point where she is ready to listen and learn. As long as she can still avoid it by using one man after another as her quick fix, she's not ready. One of my friends only started waking up at the age of 46, I luckily woke up at 32 and others even later in life.

To Patty I want to say -- don't be hard on yourself and don't have regrets. Whatever you have done in the past brought you to where you are now and made you the person you are today. As for the financial side, make sure that you keep your finances in your own name and don't even let any new man know what you have. Downplay it.

I have come to look at a relationship as a two-sided thing. One emotional and the other something like a business partnership. By negotiating the non-emotional things like how to manage the finances, dividing the chores etc and making it a written agreement, you take away the nitty gritty things that can cause disagreements and can enjoy each other emotionally. I know that many women think this takes the romance out of things, but think about the areas that caused your problems in the past and weren't they usually the non-emotional things that weren't defined ahead of time - didn't most of us think that "love will fix everything, find a way and heal all hurts"?

I am so happy to be at a mature age now!
Love
Doris