HI VIcki,
The following story may initially seem unrelated but I hope you'll see the connection.
For years I had really bad fibroids. Feeling like crap and bleeding out to the point of not being able to go without changing protection more than 30 minutes or pay the price in the form of a mess all weighed on my quality of life. But what bothered me as much--if not more I'm not too vain to admit-- was my round, pregnant looking belly. I'm an active person and no matter what I did I had this belly.
I had 3 surgeries that equal C-sections in the way they cut. The final one was a partial hysterectomy. I wanted a quality of life but I also wanted a normal looking belly. So I decided that the uterus had to go.
I was told I'd only ever get 70% of my stomach muscles back fully. I hoped that this would be better than what I'd been dealing with.(at the time of surgery I had a 14 week sized uterus.)
Guess what? Since then I think I have way more than 70% but who's counting because what I got, almost immediately, was the ability to hold in my gut. ONce I started exercising I was able to have a nice, flat-ish belly. My life was transformed on so many levels but I have to tell you, having my stomach look like I wanted it was huge.
I have a friend who is younger than I, she's about 44 now, but had a tummy tuck 3 years ago. She too had had 3 children. She hated her slack stomach, otherwise she felt really good about her body, saggy breasts and all.
Her husband eventually bought her the surgery. Like your hubbie, he didn't care if she had it or not but realized how important it was to her.
She's never looked back, had no complications, and feels like a new person.
I've had moments where my stomach wasn't exactly in the best shape in the almost 9 years since I had that surgery but it's still always felt better to me than before.
I hope this long story helps you feel good about something you want and I can't help but feel will change your life in so many ways.Trust your gut--forgive the pun--it's you who knows what brings you joy.
Best
mscoach