I just lost my dad last week. My family of origin are almost all about 700 miles away, and I visit twice a year. This year we planned my folks' 60th wedding anniversary...but Dad died 3 weeks too soon. I managed to get there 24 hours before he died. It's a long sad story, what happened in the hospital. He went in for emergency surgery and the idiot doctors goofed the first time, and had to go in a gain. The doc actually went around saying he goofed! and then he kept calling us all to say how sorry he was. The second time was too much. Dad was 90. We're all devastated. Mom has macular and was so dependent on him. We're going ahead with the party but are altering it into a celebration of Dad. I used to talk to him on the phone every week for about an hour, but it's still not the same as face to face. We've had our problems over the years but had been on very good terms for the past few decades. Although I've grown to detest the sort of torture the airports put you through these days, I'm going to try to visit mom more than twice a year now. She's 90 also.