I feel for you very much..and think that MountainAsh has given you alittle to think about..and consider..very useful things. I have 3 older children that have left the nest previously..my experience is that they often just want and need LOVE from their mom..

While sounding very wise here..I have my own thread about the empty nest..He´s Gone..is the heading. Sooo..sometimes I have it together..and then it all falls apart..because I miss him so much. But I am sooo happy for him, too..happy and proud.

I hope that you will vent again..and I bet your 50´s will surprise you before they are all done. Mine are..I am 60

Lots of HUUUUGS and welcome!
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"some sacred place.."