I understand,

I allow myself to change my mind from beliefs that were in part shaped as the woman I was.
The new era I am in allows some "fixed" beliefs to be released.
After all we dont continue to wear clothes that once suited so deeper things can also be changed.
Love you eagle.
mountain ash

Hmm..what interesting posts..Eagle and Mountain Ash. And your poem..Mountain Ash.

Changing beliefs..changing vantage points..even maybe "truths" we have lived by for a long while can change?
For ourselves..

I sometimes wonder if it is helpful to delve into that which is broken within us, Eagle? Perhaps we need to pick up the pieces and go on..look forward? We have lived long lives..and their has been very much yin/yang..darkness/light in our lives within our experiences..can we always "fix" what is "broken"?? And, in fact, IS IT BROKEN?? Perhpas it is not broken at all, but rather the result of the tracks of our tears? And that this is all a part of the great pattern that is life? Like the trees you both ladies have written so beautifully about..I have saved those threads because I love them so.

Perhaps loving our scarrs..and actually weaving them in protectively..almost strengthening them..as the trees do..could be a more helpful way? At this point in our lives..and life is too short..and getting shorter..

Just musing "out loud" with you my dear friends..

Yes, to some extent, I am grateful for my scarrs..because they help me to connect and reach out to my fellow humans..those that are my friends..and even those that I maybe meet for the first time..for a short time.

Today I was at the eye hospital..and I made someone happy just by sitting there..waiting for my turn at the doctor´s..or at least so he said..and gave me some bubbly water to drink. Totally unexpected but it made my day. I don´t think that I could exude the joy that I apparently do at times..if I had no scarrs..yin/yang..light/darkness.

Peace. Love. And Understanding

Humlan, I had resolutely put this all behind me, believing the same sort of thing as you did...what's the point in going back and rehashing old wounds?! They're there...pick up the pieces, learn from the scars, love what they've allowed you to become and move on. The problem has been that this particular wound is probably the wound underlying all other wounds. It has coloured every relationship, undermined every attempt to live a "normal" positive life. I didn't ask or seek to delve back into it - it became the journey - no way around it, and impossible to continue until I go right through it, but with all eyes open this time. It's time. I've been skirting around this through 25+ years of therapy, never allowing anyone to touch it.

The good news is that I feel safe this time, closer to feeling "whole" than ever before. Perhaps it's because of the profound care and love that I've experienced HERE at BWS that I finally feel safe to explore this. This cannot break me, and I know for certain that this will all work out for a greater good.

I've been reading a lot lately, about positive affirmations, allowing, etc. One thread of thought that comes through repeatedly is that we find our joy through our kindness to others - but that before we can truly know joy (the kind that inexplicably bubbles up from deep inside of us no matter what circumstances we're faced with), we must experience profound sorrow as well. So your yin/yang, darkness/light affirms that message once again!

I'm on the threshold.

The kindness of others....

these words seem so gentle.

Mountain ash

Eagleheart..I hear you. Yes, there are certain experiences that you have to face..and work on..and then come out on the otherside..yes..yes. And some give so much pain and darkness that they have to be revisited over and over again..when the time is right..so that you can forgive or be ok with not forgiving, but perhaps understanding..

I am sighing here because it has taken me a lifetime..but I do believe that since you are facing up to what it is you have avoided..NOW..and you feel that the time is right..then it IS right..and, as you say..you will find your peace.

Kindess to others..but we have to be kind to ourselves,too..otherwise the equation won´t work. Or what do you think? It´s not always easy to be kind to yourself..not easy at all..and that brings up the question: what comprises the kindness that I give to others? Or does it bring up this question at all?

Today we drove to the shore.
There are several fishing villages .Very quaint with homes with crowstep gabels little windows really pretty. Facing the estuary to the North sea.It was warm and little children were bathing.Just hearing them laugh and splash made me think how it must be them doing this perhaps for the first time.
It was the ideal day due to our schools breaking up for holiday.Later even tomorrow it will get busier.

Best of all the drive there is only 16 miles so travelling did not use up the day.
Mountain ash

I had a motto taken from Alice Walker which said

A WISE WOMAN WATERS HER OWN GARDEN FIRST.

In the book it came from the author tells of her mother who had little.Lived poor. She tended a flower garden although she had to do jobs for many others.First thing in the morning the mother would water her garden.
Putting her pleasure (garden) first.What energy left over she used for others.She made sure she had her share of the water.
This stays with me..and I try to live by it.No use being a voluteer and helping many if the source of our own authenticy is not being fed.
I have sought to find what makes me happy and add to it.Then if I am content I am able to be of service in whatever way presents itself.
Mountain ash

MA, love this analogy. I agree. This is why I begin my days with quiet time; to reflect on the day prior, and sort out the day facing me. I do any or all of the following - reflect, pray, read my prayer list, journal, do a Bible study, read a faith based book, listen. Some days, I'm better at one than the others. Some days I spend 10 minutes and other days, maybe 45 or longer. I used to think it was selfish to take time for myself, but I've learned that when I do this, I have more energy and postivity to last the day. I still fail and sin, but then I go back the next day and reflect on why, and try to begin all over again. Now I'll think of it as watering my garden.

Eagle, your thoughts, dreams, writing is so unbelievably lovely. I'm praying you're able to add yoruself to that list in due time. May God continue to be at work within you during this time of self-relection and love!

I thank God 4 hubby, Xena and the beautiful countryside; those morning geocachings; and the glories of creation. Summer is my favorite season. I'm grateful 4 all His Divine blessings. And I'm delighted 2 B a part of Dotsie's boomer site!