Humlan, I had resolutely put this all behind me, believing the same sort of thing as you did...what's the point in going back and rehashing old wounds?! They're there...pick up the pieces, learn from the scars, love what they've allowed you to become and move on. The problem has been that this particular wound is probably the wound underlying all other wounds. It has coloured every relationship, undermined every attempt to live a "normal" positive life. I didn't ask or seek to delve back into it - it became the journey - no way around it, and impossible to continue until I go right through it, but with all eyes open this time. It's time. I've been skirting around this through 25+ years of therapy, never allowing anyone to touch it.

The good news is that I feel safe this time, closer to feeling "whole" than ever before. Perhaps it's because of the profound care and love that I've experienced HERE at BWS that I finally feel safe to explore this. This cannot break me, and I know for certain that this will all work out for a greater good.

I've been reading a lot lately, about positive affirmations, allowing, etc. One thread of thought that comes through repeatedly is that we find our joy through our kindness to others - but that before we can truly know joy (the kind that inexplicably bubbles up from deep inside of us no matter what circumstances we're faced with), we must experience profound sorrow as well. So your yin/yang, darkness/light affirms that message once again!

I'm on the threshold.