I've been thinking about your post all night. What you are feeling is so very valid....when is a good time to send mass mailings to people who either are suffering through the illness of a family member, or have lost that person? Seems a tad insensitive to me. You know there are dozens of books written about grief and the process and none of them could ever give you a specific amount of time that it takes until the loss isn't so raw. I know when I lost my dad, it was two years before I finally woke up one morning and didn't feel just horrible. It might be a good idea to write to the organization and mention to them that a personal query about the loved one would be a more appropriate beginning.