Thank you for your response. You make a lot of sense to me...I wish you could talk to my MIL for five minutes. My MIL has a pretty active life...she has a boyfriend (he's cool most of the time but is jealous...yes, jealous...I thought men his age grew out of that behavior...guess I was wrong). For example, the other day I, MIL and HBF (her boyfriend) were going to look at some twin beds I wanted to buy...I was driving. From the moment I picked them up he began talking about MIL's neighbor...they dated a few years back but broke it off and have remained friends. HBF cannot stand that MIL even talks to him. Well, he began heading in the direction of trashing this neighbor and I tried to head it off by asking him not to go there...it's like I was talking to a brick wall...he kept on and while he's running his mouth MIL is commenting on how pretty the fields are...when I asked MBF to refrain from his comments he blew up and said a really inappropriate comment. I told him that if he didn't stop I would turn the car around and take him home (he's gone almost completely blind and can no longer drive). Did he stop? Heck, no. I turned the car around and he was sort of quiet on the way back...like he really didn't expect that I would do that. I dropped them both off at MIL's house...when I saw her later she was chuckling about it. Said HBF got what he deserved...for the rest of the day he was quiet and looked like the air had been let out of her balloon. My point is...why doesn't mom do what I did? She's the same way with Robin...way too passive and non-confrontational. Right is right and wrong is wrong...when HBF was saying hateful things about her neighbor he was insinuating MIL was not being honest with him or that there was something going on...Rubbish! I've heard him do this before but never reacted the way I did until the other day. I've heard he wants to apologize to me...but, it's MIL who he should be apologizing to and I'm going to tell him so.
MIL also has a daughter (normal) who lives down the road from her who visits a lot, we visit a lot, her brother visits a lot and mom comes and goes where she wants. We just don't understand why MIL feels so compelled to IGNORE her daughter's drug use...if Robin tell her she's not using, she believes it. If Robin tells her the sky is falling, she believes it. If Robin tells her the government shorted her money from her check and she needs more to get something legitimate (although we know it's for drugs), she believe it. I don't understand how lonliness can make a Mother ignore such obvious signs of drug abuse...Robin even admitted to her that she's using again yet MIL does nothing...we're just standing around scratching our heads.