My mother-in-law, 73, has a 44 year old daughter, Robin, who has been diagnosed as a scitzophrenic for many years now...My own mother was a paranoid scitzophrenic so I know how difficult it is for them to act and behave normally. Robin, while having a mental illness, is very smart as well...she has never worked a day in her life (my mother did)...Robin lives off the government and takes them for every program she can. Robin has been using drugs in one form or another since she was 14 (according to family members) and I came along in the family 2 years ago just before Robin turned to crack. The problem boils down to this: Drug addicts lie...Mome wants to believe her and is in big time denial. Robin uses mom for money...the last car mom bought her, Robin rented for drug money and in the end it was supposedly stolen...we believe it was taken by drug dealers she owed money to. Now that several months have gone by where she's had to depend on mom for everything, she's stayed clean just enough to convince mom that she's okay enough to have another car...also her hypocondriatic behavior dictates that she continually seek some kind of attention from a doctor's appointment...she has some problems but Robin has them checking for heart problems, etc...anything to find a way to see a doctor...she's running mom ragged...so much so that mom finally broke down and bought her another car...not two weeks later Robin admitted that she is using again and is hocking her TV, microsave, window air conditoner...anything that will bring her drug money. She's stolen things from mom's home including DVD's we'd loaned mom to look at...I reported her theft to the police but the police said it didn't happen in my home and unless I could prove it was Robin there was nothing he could do.
My mother-in-law (I call her mom) refuses to acknowledge how bad her daughter is. Last year her son (my husband) and I took her to a counselor and he tried talking to her...he was an ex-addict and was trying to tell her that her daughter is a drug addict and by enabling Robin, she is helping her daughter use drugs. Mom, of course, doesn't see it that way. Robin, we believe, has been physically abusive to mom...mom gave hints to that, but she refuses to press charges...Robin comes and goes as she pleases, begs and pleads mom for money until she gets what she wants and says the reason she is the way she is is because of how mom raised her...we know a lot of this is the drug addict talking and the scitzo talking. Robin has been placed in these mental institutions for help but convinces her mom they're so terrible that she just cannot go back there...so, mom gives in because she doesn't want to feel guilty for putting her daughter in such a place. My husband and I have thrown up our hands and backed away because we know there's nothing we can do until mom decided to pull her head out from her butt and face the fact that Robin is never going to be normal or off drugs without help. Well, she's never going to be normal because of her mental illness...she refuses to take her medication for that but she'll crack up anytime she can. At least when I visit mom and Robin is around she avoids me like the plague because I've let Robin know that I will not put up with her attitude...so she hides from me...(clever as a fox, that one).
Does anyone out there have any advice or words of wisdom that might help in this situation? Robin goes to counselors, she commits herself into the hospital at the drop of a hat when she needs drugs (ambulance rides cost her nothing...she calls and they come). She gets her attention or whatever she needs and then returns home for a few days and the drama starts again. My husband and I try to stay out of it as does his other sister, but our worry is mom...at 73...going through this. Robin has us worried. Very, very worried.